Page 68 of My Heart To Heal

‘Bax, what about this weekend? Let Jonah finish up his week, come by, and spend the weekend in town. You can hang out and let him get to know you again. It’s been so long,’ I bargain, and he clenches his jaw tightly. ‘I can get you a cabin at the bar — you can spend the whole weekend.’

Bax considers my words and turns toward his car.

‘Fine.’

One word, that’s it, before he climbs into his car and pulls away, and Nick releases me doing the same. I miss him immediately, his touch, his warmth, that security he gave me.

‘Nick,’ I call out after him, and he turns back, shaking his head.

‘Don’t!’ he snaps, then turns and heads into the clinic.

‘Miss,you okay?’ Kacey’s sweet, soft voice causes the tears I was holding back to fall, and I cover my face as I cry right there in the street. Bax knows where we are, and Nick hates me even more than he already did. It’s all falling apart.

Nice,Missy, Real Classy

Missy

I couldn’t go backto work. I calmed myself down out on the street enough to apologize to the folks in the salon, then headed upstairs. I left Emma to cancel my last appointment of the day and asked Cara if she could pick up Jonah with Bowie.

Now I’m standing in my kitchen with a glass of water and a tension headache.

I want to call Bax’s mom and ask her what the fuck she was thinking, giving him my address. The address I only gave her so she could send Jonah his Christmas presents, but I know what she’d say,‘Oh, Marissa, honey, he’s trying. He loves his boy, and he’s sorry, give him a chance.’

Every time, every bruise, every break, every tear I shed because of her golden boy, entitled asshole son was explained away as a mistake: he’s tired, he’s busy, he’s stressed. I adore my son and worship the ground he walks on, but if I ever found out hetreated anybody how Bax treated me, you bet your ass I’d be kicking his.

A knock at the door startles me, and I notice the tremble in my hand as I put down my glass.

‘Miss, you there?’

The sweet Scottish voice of Cara floats through the wood, followed by Jonah’s, ‘Mama, open up.’

I take a steadying breath, then head over to open the door and immediately scoop up my boy.

My eyes meet Cara’s, and her gaze is questioning, but I shake my head. I’m not ready to tell her this story.

‘I missed you today, Jonah.’ I kiss his head and put him down.

‘Missed you too, Mama,’ he says sweetly before running to his bedroom.

‘You okay?’ Cara asks as we head inside, and I nod.

‘Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a headache.’

‘And the man everyone is talking about?’

I hang my head and blow out a breath — of course, they’re talking. This is Forest Falls — everybody knows everything about everybody.

‘Jonah’s dad,’ I whisper, and her eyes widen. ‘He wants to see him.’

Cara doesn’t know he was abusive — nobody does. She just knows he’s an absent deadbeat asshole, and that’s enough for thelook in her eyes to turn thunderous.

‘You’re not going to let him?’ she asks, and I shrug.

‘I don’t know if I have a lot of choice.’

Jonah runs back in wearing his little scrubs, and my heart aches.

‘Can I go see Nick, Mama?’ He misses him so much it hurts.

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