Page 73 of My Heart To Heal

‘Yeah, it’s time.’

I take a breath and notice how exhausted she looks. I hold out my hand to her and she takes it and moves back to the sofa. We lay down together, and I cradle her in my arms, her head on my chest. Raising up my phone, I connect to her speakers and put on some music, quietly, just enough to change the atmosphere in the room, then I just hold her.

As her cheek warms my chest and her body molds to my side, I hear her breathing slow down and feel her tension ease until I know she’s asleep.

I want this. I want this with her every goddam day of my life, but I’m not going to push. It has to be on her terms.

After a while, I manage to extricate myself from her koala hold, and I stand, turning to look down at her. She’s beautiful, even like this, asleep on her sofa, a frown tightening her expression. I considercarrying her to bed, but I don’t want to disturb her at all now that she’s finally asleep. Instead, I grab Jonah’sFrozenblanket from his chair and lay it over her, then walk away. I won’t sleep tonight, listening for any sign of that son of a bitch coming back, but she needs to, and tomorrow, we’ll make sure one way or another, he isn’t a problem anymore.

Hi There, You Must Be Bax

Missy

It takes a moment,a beautiful moment of waking to the sound of the birds outside the window I always leave partially open for fresh air, and the cozy comfort of the soft cushions and warm blanket cocooning me to realize I’m on my sofa, and then why I fell asleep out here — then who I fell asleep with. Then another minute of wondering where he is before it sinks in that he left.

‘Mama, where are you?’

Shit. I sit up. ‘Here, baby, I’m here.’

‘Why do you have my blanket?’ my beautiful boy asks sleepily when he reaches me in the living room.

‘Silly Mama fell asleep out here. I must have grabbed it while I was dreaming.’ He chuckles, amused, and I open my arms. ‘Want to snuggle?’

Jonah climbs onto the sofa and cuddles into me, and I breathe him in.

‘I need to usethe bathroom,’ he says after a while, and I smile as I release him.

‘Go on, wash your hands.’ Pushing myself up, I head for the kitchen. I need coffee and carbs. Putting on a pot, I take out some frozen waffles and find the chocolate sauce. Today is not the day for fruit and yogurt.

I wonder where my phone is. I don’t remember the last time I saw it. As Jonah turns on the TV and makes himself comfy, I look for my purse, finding it on my bed where I must have dumped it in a haze when I came upstairs yesterday. Flutters of panic twist my stomach at the memory of yesterday, but I tamp them down. Not now, not in front of my boy.

My phone is, unsurprisingly, completely dead, so I take it and my charger to the kitchen to plug it in and get breakfast fixed up. As it powers up, I hear the vibrations of an afternoon’s worth of messages coming through, and I close my eyes, not wanting to face that.

Pouring myself some fresh, hot, beautiful, and very much-needed coffee, I pick up my cell and start to read the messages in the group chat:The Coven.

Cara:Miss, you okay? I’m here if you need anything x

Zoe:Why wouldn’t she be? What did Nick do?

Bree:Not Nick. Jonah’s asshole dad showed up. Need me to kick his ass, Miss?

Zoe:He did? What does he want? If he upsets my favorite boy, I’m coming home to join in the ass kickin!

Bree:Let’s go! Campbell women don’t play! Cara, you’re basically a Campbell woman, and I know you can throw down. You in?

Cara:Oh, absolutely I am!

Zoe:Miss, you good?

Cara:Honey, do I need to come over?

Bree:I just saw Nick. He said you’re sleeping… does this mean you and he are

Zoe:Fill us in tomorrow, sweetie x

I close my eyes. I need to tell them, but I don’t want to face it. I wonder what Nick told Bree, and I wonder where he saw her.

Clicking out of the group chat, I go to the next message down.

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