Page 92 of My Heart To Heal

‘It’s amazing. He’s—’ I shrug, and Zoe smirks.

‘I told you he’s a good man.’

‘You did. You all did, and you were right. He’s incredible.’

‘And Jonah?’ Cara knew we were telling Jonah about us this afternoon, so asks for an update.

‘I don’t know if he fully understands. He thought Nick was my boyfriend before any of this happened, so he noticed something between us, but we sat him down, and Nick told him that he loves me, and he loves him, and that he’s going to be spending a lot of time with us, sleeping over and doing fun stuff.’

‘They just kind of roll with it, don’t they? Once Bo knew that Doug loving me didn’t change how much he loved her, she was on board.’

‘Yeah, he was good.’

‘So why the long face?’ Bree questions.

‘I don’t know. I feel weird.’ I put down my glass and cover my face with my hands for a moment while my friends wait for me to explain. ‘It’s just been me and Jonah for so long, and he knows he has a father, but he doesn’t ask about him or even want to see him.’

‘Good!’ Zoe hisses.

‘That motherfucker is not a father,’ Bree snaps.

‘My point is, Jonah hasn’t ever asked for a dad in his life. It didn’t matter to him that he didn’t have that, and then, over the past few months, I watched him bond with Doug, Merv, and Buck, andit was beautiful to see how he gravitated toward these amazing male role models and how they all accepted him into their lives. Then Nick came along, and even when he and I didn’t get along, the love affair between Nick and Jonah was rolling down the hill, gathering snow, growing.’

‘Honey, what are you trying to say?’

‘They loved each other before we did. They bonded while we were still fighting, and Jonah has accepted Nick into our lives without a second glance, so I don’t know, I just…’

‘You need to get used to Jonah having someone else to turn to,’ Cara finishes.

‘Isn’t that weird? I should be so happy that they adore each other, and I am, but also, I feel—’

‘Jealous.’ Zoe finishes, and I drop my forehead to the table.

‘Oh my god. I’m such an asshole.’

‘No, you’re not at all.’ I feel Cara’s hand on my back. ‘Doug and Jessie both went through weird emotions when Bo accepted me with open arms. It’s a lot of change.’

‘But I think you need to talk to Nick about this,’ Zoe says softly. ‘You’re in a relationship with him, Miss. Communication is key to making sure this thing never stops working.’

‘What if he thinks I’m pushing him away again?’

‘He won’t. He knows you love him,’ Bree assures in her no-bullshit tone.

‘I really do.’ I smile, and I know my friends are right. Nick and I are solid. We just need to keep talking.

When I let myself into my apartment, I smile. The TV is on quietly, the dishes are all done and put away, and the side table lamps illuminate the space, but Nick is nowhere to be seen.

I left Bree’s house feeling better about the emotions I’ve been feeling — everything has been turned on its head, and it’s a lot. Bax is behind bars, and Jonah and I aren’t alone anymore. As I walk through my apartment, wondering where the hell he is, I find myself outside Jonah’s room, and I gently push on the partially open door and peek inside.

There he is. There they both are. I inhale shakily at the sight of Nick sitting up in Jonah’s bed, eyes closed, my boy’s favorite bedtime story in his lap, and my baby asleep against his chest.

I have stuff to deal with, get used to, but this — the two of them, someone sharing some of the load — this is everything I have dreamed of and never thought I would have.

I love this man, and I know we’re only going to get stronger and stronger.

Walking over toward the bed, I gently stroke my fingers through his hair, and he inhales as he opens his eyes, first, looking down at Jonah, then up at me with a sleepy, gorgeous smile that makes my stomach flip over.

Gently, Nick slides out from under Jonah, laying him down with a kiss on his head before following me out of the room. Once the door is closed, Nick reaches out for my arm and pulls me to him, kissing me like he’s waited his whole life to do so.

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