Page 29 of Gluttony

“Shit,” the grumbled. She meant to make a Walmart Grocery order for delivery, but she got so caught up in coding a Roblox game—for fun, because she was a nerd—that time passed her by. And now, it was going on 1 PM and she knew from experience the only time slots left for delivery that day would be around 8 PM or later. “Shit,” she grumbled again. She didn’t want to deal with answering her door to a stranger once it started getting dark. She was an idiot when it came to relationships, but she was street smart enough to know that once the streetlights came on, Stranger Danger was too real. So, she’d set up an order for tomorrow afternoon.

Until then…she’d starve and die of caffeine withdrawal. Probably.

Grabbing her mug, she left her office and headed to the kitchen, depositing the mug in the sink where the old bowl of cereal was still sitting. She wrinkled her nose at the murky, once colorful mush that was her breakfast from two days ago.

Not having eaten in several hours, her stomach was gnawing on her liver. She began her mental list of things to buy.

Chicken taquitos, pork egg rolls, mini tacos, K-pods, white cheddar popcorn….

None of those things were going to feed her now, though.

“What am I in the mood for,” she asked the kitchen, her voice raspy from disuse…because she hadn’t spoken to anyone in days.

She hadn’t spoken to Redtube in days, and since she was a hermit without any real-life connections, she didn’t converse with anyone else via vocal cords. She emailed and texted plenty, but actually using her voice?

God, I’m such a friendless loser, aren’t I?

And she was dying—her heart had no idea how to beat without him being a constant part of her life.

How do you expect to move on if you can’t even survive a day without getting a migraine from crying so much?

Since they’d first connected via DM, there hadn’t been a single day where they hadn’t reached out to one another. Yes, in the beginning, it was one-sided as Red was bombarded with DMs from all his fans, but he never failed to respond, even if it was just a smirking face emoji or a heart emoji. It didn’t take long for him to initiate conversations, and not long after that, they were chatting like long-lost friends—every day, every hour, and for everything. There wasn’t anything Red didn’t know about her…other than what she looked like from the waist down. Or her address, which she kept from him because she was a chicken shit and didn’t want him to pop in and see her without warning—because she was self-conscious about her looks, right down to how she always wore old t-shirts and men’s sweatpants. Now that he knew what she looked like, and she’d cut all ties with him, there was no chance he’d ever just “pop in” anyway.

As for him, though, it was obvious she hadn’t known all there was to know about Red, like how he was a liar and a coward.

Stop this! Stop thinking about him! Get over him! Who cares if he inked your name on his dick like some kind of goth jewelry, he still betrayed you.

Before she knew it, another voice chimed in,but you didn’t let him explain—you’ll never get closure if you stick your head in your ass and act like nothing happened.

Ugh.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she blinked back the burning tears, sucked in a breath, let it out, then pulled her cell from her bra where she’s stashed it that morning.

For a practical woman, having big tits was only good for one thing: storing small items. She hated carrying a purse and a wallet, so she just didn’t. She used her pockets for most things, but not everything had pockets, which was the bane of women’s fashion. She could buy things—without carrying cash or credit cards—by using Google Pay on her phone, and she used her boobs to hold everything else. Not recommended for chocolate, though—she’d learned her lesson about that—but it was perfect for car keys, cellphone, small change for parking meters, USB dongles, and even travel-sized bags of tissues, like that one time she had a cold and needed to leave the house for a meeting. She’d shoved the tissues in the crease between her tits, and just went about her day. When she needed to blow her nose, she discreetly pulled a tissue from her bra.

Rolling her eyes at her train of thought, she clicked into the Walmart Grocery app—using her own proprietary data management software, and made an order for delivery tomorrow afternoon. She ordered from the Walmart a few towns over…just because.

Once that was done, she rummaged through her kitchen for something to eat, and after several minutes of mentally whining about her lack of variety, she finally decided on ramen.

After putting a pot of water on the stove to boil—yes, she made her ramen like a heathen—she leaned against the counter and held her thumb over the Instagram icon.

No…don’t do it…don’t fall into the thirst trap again….

But how was she supposed to know what was going on? Fuck, her curiosity was like a living, breathing thing she just couldn’t cage. She missed him like crazy, her heart ached for him…what would it hurt, really, to just check and see what he was up to?

What if there’s a new Reel of him “playing” with another “hair tie?”

Pinching her eyes shut, she bit back a sob.

God, why did this have to hurt so much? She missed him, missed their connection, missed the possibility of a future together…one she’d been holding on to since she’d first “met” him online.

She was such a mess—her lock screen was still the image of him, bare-chested, wearing a black balaclava, leaning against a doorjamb, his hand cupping his junk through his jeans, his eyes intense, his entire presence like sex and menace poured over badassery.

There wasn't a day gone by where she hadn’t spent far too long staring at that picture, wondering why she didn’t just delete it—delete him—forever.

She hadn’t been back on social media since she’d first seen Red’s posts about the tattoo, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t seen the images in her mind, or remembered how he called her beautiful…and the comments from the online vipers.

“Fuck it,” she croaked, slamming her thumb onto the Insta icon and bringing up her feed. Since @RedDevilDog was one of only three accounts she followed, his Reels, images, and stories popped right up.

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