Page 54 of Forty, Flirty & Fake-ly Yours

Rosalind turns to me slowly. "I'm sorry, you did what now?"

"It was a perfectly logical system for?—"

"Geographic optimization," my family choruses.

"I hate all of you."

"Even me?" Rosalind asks innocently, her hand still warm on my knee.

"You're on thin ice."

"Speaking of ice," my mother interjects, "how are the wedding plans coming along?" She looks at Natasha and Mark. "Still set for June?"

"Assuming we can find a venue that hasn't been scared off by my first wedding's... incident." Natasha grimaces.

"The fire department said the fountain damage was minimal," Mark assures her.

"Fire department?" Rosalind echoes.

"Don't ask," I advise. "Though statistically speaking?—"

"If you say 'statistically speaking' one more time," Natasha threatens, "I'm showing Roz your high school yearbook photos. Including the robotics club formal."

My phone buzzes again. This time it's Connor:Grandmother's hospital board wants you and Roz at their Valentine's gala. Says you're "better than Lifetime movies for entertainment."

Another message arrives before I can respond. Emily Hanning:Sources say your relationship inspired SecureMatch's latest algorithm updates. Care to comment?

I silence them both just as my mother starts telling Rosalind about the time I tried to create a scientific formula for the perfect chocolate chip cookie.

"In my defense," I say, "the results were excellent."

"Until the kitchen renovation," Natasha adds.

"Minor setback."

"The contractor had to replace three walls!"

"The point is," I continue, "the final algorithm produced the perfect cookie consistency."

"Of course it did." Rosalind's smile does something to my chest that absolutely isn’t written in our agreement clauses. "Though I prefer Nonna Flora's method – a little of this, a pinch of that..."

"Chaos," I mutter.

"Character," she corrects, squeezing my knee.

“Uncle Gray's girlfriend is funny," Anna announces to the table at large. "Way better than the actress from the Christmas party."

Rosalind's hand stills. "I'm sorry, the what now?"

"Connor's idea.” I clear my throat. "Two years ago. It was all very professional."

"He hired someone from my theater company," Natasha explains, because apparently everyone is determined to destroy me tonight. "Though she broke character when Mom started showing baby photos..."

"Which reminds me!" My mother stands. "I have the most adorable pictures of Gray's first science fair..."

As she disappears toward the living room again, Rosalind leans closer.

"An actress?" she whispers.

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