Page 85 of Forty, Flirty & Fake-ly Yours

Outside, the snow has stopped falling, leaving the city wrapped in a brittle silence.

I walk aimlessly, the cold biting at my skin, trying to make sense of the mess my life has become.

For a man who's spent his life predicting outcomes, who’s spent most of his career calculating the next step, I sure as shit never saw this one coming.

24

SELECT-ALL LOVE AND DELETE

Olivia& Derek's House, Seattle, WA

ROSALIND

Valentine's Day dawns like a bad hangover, all grey skies and regret. By ten AM, I've managed to make it to Olivia's house, though the combination of valentine holiday traffic and lingering snow makes the normally quick trip feel eternal.

"So let me get this straight," Olivia says, measuring flour for what appears to be stadium-feeding quantities of cookies. "You got drunk on Italian wine, passed out in his bed, and woke up to find him reading Emily's article about how you matched his ex-fiancée with her current fiancé?"

“Well, technically, I was coming out of the shower. I was trying to wash the shame and cowardice out of my hair.”

“Of course.”

“And don't forget the part where he tried to make me breakfast." I drop my head onto her granite counter. "There were eggs everywhere. Like a breakfast crime scene."

"Only you could turn Valentine's Day into a disaster." She starts creaming butter with more force than strictly necessary. "Though I have to admit, finding out about Jessica through TechCast is probably not ideal."

"You think?"

From the living room, we hear Mia's distinctive giggle followed by Bianca's voice: "And then the robot said 'ERROR: LOVE NOT FOUND!'"

"Are your children writing a play about my love life?" I ask, lifting my head slightly.

"More like a K-pop musical." Olivia peers into the living room. "Though they've added interpretive dance elements."

"Wonderful." I thunk my head back down. "Maybe they can perform it at Alex's engagement party tomorrow. Really complete my humiliation."

"Speaking of the party?—"

"I'm still going." I pull out my phone, showing her Grayson's text:Dress code reminder for tomorrow: Winter formal. Very professional.

"'Very professional,'" Olivia reads. "Well, that's passive-aggressive."

"Says the woman who once rearranged Derek's entire medical textbook collection by color to prove a point."

"That was different." She starts measuring vanilla. "I was pregnant and hormonal. You're just?—"

She's interrupted by what sounds like furniture being rearranged, followed by Bianca announcing: "This next number is called 'The Algorithm of Heartbreak!'"

"Should we be concerned?" I ask as electronic beats start pulsing from their tablet.

"Probably." Olivia peeks around the corner again. "Though not as concerned as we should be about William's latest baking experiment."

I sit up straight. “Oh Lord. What did he do now?"

"Let's just say there's a reason Dani had to close the officetoday. Apparently, mixing healing crystals into sourdough creates some kind of... explosive reaction."

"Of course it does." I reach for the cookie dough, but Olivia smacks my hand away. "How bad?"

"The feng shui consultant says the lobby's energy is irreparably damaged. Also, we might need new ceiling tiles."

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