Page 40 of Breakaway Goal

And there’s another era coming to an end this year. This is the last year I’ll be living near Maddie.

The bittersweet feeling gathering in me suddenly leans a lot further to the bitter side.

The thought feels like a stab through the heart, and I heave out a heavy exhale.

All through middle school and high school, I saw her almost every day. Even during those two years when Lane and I were here before she graduated high school, I saw her every summer, during every long break, or when Lane and I would make random trips back home.

When I graduate and move to Seattle to the team that drafted me … it’ll be different.Reallydifferent.

That’s life, though, right?

You make friends, and life pulls you in different directions. Even your best friends, you just don’t see them as much, even if you remain close. There’s no doubt in my mind that Lane and I will remain friends for life. I’ll always talk with Maddie, always see her from time to time, but …

From time to time isn’t even close to enough.

I’m going to miss running into her on campus, tapping her on one shoulder even though I’m behind her on the other side. A wistful smile rises to my lips, because she always falls for it.

I’m going to miss our stupid staring contests that I always win.

I’m going to miss seeing the new paintings she’s working on.

I’m going to miss us listening to music together, sharing new songs or bands or albums that one of us just found and knows the other will like, too.

I’m going to miss the whiff of vanilla that wafts from her hair. Fuck, am I going to miss that.

I’m going to miss the sound of her laugh. Even if we talk on the phone or do video calls regularly, it’s never the same as hearing it in person.

What if I only hear it in person a couple times a year? Hell, what if I only hear it once every couple years as we settle into our own lives far apart on different sides of the country?

A thought creeps into my mind that makes a sharp shard lodge painfully between my ribs.

Maybe that’s all a good thing. Maybe that distance will make it easier to truly accept that friendship is the only thing possible between us. Maybe I’ll stop torturing myself with longings and fantasies about something that’ll never happen.

That’s a bitter pill to swallow. So bitter that my throat tightens at the thought of it. But that doesn’t mean it’s not one Ishouldswallow …

I push those thoughts away. The bittersweetness is about to turn into downright melancholy.

I try to settle my thoughts back on excitement for the upcoming season. Excitement to finally play with Lane again once he’s cleared. Excitement to end my last season of college hockey the right way, winning the Frozen Four championship that we were so damn close to last year.

My shoes crunch over some newly fallen leaves as I arrive at a park on the edge of Cedar Shade, stretched out along the path of a small river that runs past the eastern side of the town. A group of small kids are having a ball with a pile of leaves on one side of the park.

I look to the other side of the park, and my heart clenches when I see Maddie.

She’s sitting crisscross on the grass, a sketchpad in her lap and an array of colored pencils by her side. I walk over to her, and when I see the incredible drawing she’s sketching of the lushly colored trees in front of her, pride beats in my chest.

Does she even knowhowtalented she is?

She turns to me when I settle onto the grass next to her. A surprised smile rises on her pretty lips, and my heart flutters.

“Well, well, look who it is.” Her eyes elevator my torso. “Very fall-y shirt. I feel shown up,” she jokes.

I find a particularly big leaf on the ground, fallen from its branch recently enough to still be a ruddy shade of orange, and place it on the top of her head.

“There you go,” I say with a smirk, “exceedingly fall-y.”

She laughs, shaking her head so the leaf slides off. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Came out to sketch?” I ask, nodding towards her drawing.

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