Page 53 of Breakaway Goal

My jaw clenches. Protectiveness throttles through me, raising every hair on my body.

“What did he do to you?” My question is a tight growl.

Maddie sends me an urgent text on a Friday night, looks worried and tense, and the first thing she tells me for an explanation is some guy kissed her?

Did he force himself on her? Touch her in a way she didn’t want? Murderous thoughts fire through my brain at the possibilities.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s nothing like that. He didn’t do anything.” She pauses. “It was … my first kiss.”

My brows draw together. Maddie’s never been kissed until now?

I mean, I know she’s never had a boyfriend I was aware of. Last week was the first time I’ve even heard about her going on a date. I guess I could have put two and two together. But still, Maddie’s so beautiful, so smart, so talented, so fucking incredible, I guess the idea that she hadn’t been kissed yet just didn’t fit in my head.

“And?” I ask.

“It was bad.”

My shoulders sink in relief. That’s it? Maddie’s not in trouble, she didn’t get hurt, no one did anything to her—she just had a bad first kiss?

“So?” I ask, the side of my mouth twitching. I can’t help but find it a little funny now that my guard is down.

But then Maddie sniffles, and that protectiveness surges through me stronger than ever. Instantly I feel like an asshole for dismissing her feelings with a smirk. A bad first kiss can be disappointing, I get it, and I shouldn’t dismiss how it makes her feel.

I mean, I know most of the kisses in my life have been disappointing, because I was never kissing the lips Ireallywanted to. I guess I’ve just accepted disappointing kisses as a fact of life. But Maddie deserves so much more.

I step forward, wrapping her into a supportive hug. Fuck, she feels so good in my arms that it hurts. She presses her forehead into my chest, and I catch a breath full of the scent of her hair, winding the yearning in my chest tight.

“I’m tired of missing out on what everyone else is experiencing,” Maddie confesses, head still against my chest. “Tired of having no experience with guys, knowing that I’m going to be clueless about what to do when it finally happens.”

Two emotions swirl together: sympathy for what she’s telling me, and white-hot jealousy over the idea of Maddie gettingexperiencewith other guys.

I know how selfish that last feeling is. She’s a twenty-year-old girl in her sophomore year of college. She deserves to live her life.

“I’m ready, but,” Maddie says, her eyes finding mine, “I don’t want an even bigger first to be as disappointing as my first kiss was.”

“I’m sure it won’t be,” I say, trying to sound consoling even though that selfish jealousy inside me is ratcheting up.

“So am I—if it’s with you.”

It feels like a sledgehammer just slammed into my chest. A shock of unreality races through me. It’s like an earthquake just cracked the foundations of reality.

Did Maddie just say what I think she said?

The bright blue pools of her eyes hold my gaze with dazzling force.

“I want it to feel good, to feel right,” she says, and my chest pulses at every syllable from her lips. “I don’t want to regret it. If it’s with you, I won’t.”

I try to think through what she’s saying to me, to analyze it logically, sensibly. But I can’t. The neurons in my brain are firing too hard and fast for me to latch onto any train of thought.

She’s asking me to be her first time. Something I can’t do. She’s one of my best friends. She’s Lane’s little sister. It could ruin everything.

But the way she’s looking at me …

The idea of Maddie losing her virginity to another guy has jealousy stabbing into my chest like a hot blade—but the thought of her being disappointed with it, the thought of her actually regretting an experience that should be comfortable, meaningful, good … that thought twists my heart.

I’d sure as hell make sure that her first time iseverythingit should be.

I’m no saint, either. I wouldn’t just be agreeing for her sake. I’d be agreeing because it’s what I want more than anything else in this whole fucking world. The thought of stripping Maddie bare, touching her all over with my hands, with my lips, then sinking inside her …

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