Page 72 of I Wanna Be Your Lager

“Irrational would be strangling him with both hands. I think I’m being perfectly rational,” Jake deadpans before he stomps away.

Lach rests a hand on my arm. “It’s okay.”

I spin around to face him. Fear. Panic. Hopelessness. And everything in between races through me. “No. It’s not. He’s being irrational,” I choke out.

“He’s not. I did all those things he said.”

“But he punched you.” My voice softens. “You’re bleeding.” Tears prick the corners of my eyes, and I reach up to brush my thumb over his cut. He flinches at the contact.

“I deserved it.” Stepping out of my reach, he picks his shirt up off the floor and shoves it over his head. Next, he finds his jeans and tugs them on. His hand rubs his jaw where Jake punched him.

“Where are you going to go? Let me come with you. Give me a minute to get a bag together.” My gaze flits around the room, figuring out everything I need to pack.

He clasps his hands on my biceps. “You stay here.”

The tears grow bigger until they’re too big to hold back any longer. One slides down my cheek and then the other. Lach lifts his hands and brushes them away with his thumbs.

My heart thunders in my ears. “Where are you going to go?” My words are barely a whisper. I don’t want him to go. I don’t want to be without him.

“I’m going to make a couple of phone calls. If I have to, I’ll get a hotel room.”

My heart plummets to my stomach, a cold dread washing over me. “I hate this.”

His face falls, and he nods. “I know. I do too.”

“What do I do?” I’ve never felt so helpless in my entire life. Even when I was a teenager with shitty parents, who were basically non-existent, at least I had Jake, but now I don’t even have him.

He cups my cheeks, his warmth the only thing that’s comforting. “It’s best I’m not here right now. Jake needs some space, and me being in his house won’t make anything better. We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

My eyelids droop. I wait for Lach to kiss me, even if it’s on the forehead. To offer me comfort that everything will be okay like he says, but it doesn’t happen. His warm touch disappears, and his hands fall to his sides. My heart breaks for a completely different reason. Glancing up, I meet Lach’s eyes. His once bright blue irises dull to almost gray. The same heartbreak I feel is etched on his face. He pivots on his heels. I watch his retreating frame until he disappears from the doorway. I hold my breath, hoping he comes back to tell me he changed his mind, but the sound of the back door closing echoes through the house and smacks into my chest. The last of my tears roll down my cheeks. I wipe them away. All the fear and hopelessness dissolves into hurt and anger. My blood boils, and Jake is sitting in the bullseye of my wrath. The pounding of my feet throughout the house rattles the walls and everything on them. I find Jake in his bedroom, pacing back and forth.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” His head jerks up to meet mine. “I can’t believe you just kicked out your own best friend.”

He freezes a few feet away from me. “A best friend wouldn’t sleep with his best friend’s sister and keep it a secret for months.”

“We didn’t want to hurt you. Why can’t you see that?” Jake has always been the last person I wanted to hurt. He’s always been there when I’ve needed him. I don’t want to lose him over this, but I also can’t lose Lach.

He scoffs. “Well, congratulations. You did exactly that.”

“I didn’t tell you either. This is just as much my fault.” I point to my chest. It’s not fair for Lach to take all the heat for this. There’s only one person being unreasonable here, and it’s Jake.

“You’re my sister.”

“And he’s your best. Fucking. Friend.” I blow out a deep breath and stare up at the ceiling. Yelling at each other won’t get us anywhere. “Look,” I lower my tone, “we both know that sometimes our friends are worth more than the blood family we have. So congratulations for once again pushing people out of your life who care about you. Just like you always do. You can be sad and miserable for the rest of your entire life. But I’m going to live mine. Just so we’re clear, I’m not going to stop seeing him. I don’t care what you say. He’s the one man who has made me feel good about myself. Even though this baby isn’t his,” I rest a hand on my belly, “he wants to be in my life.Ourlives. And I want him, no, Ineedhim in mine. So, if you want to kick me out too, go right ahead. Otherwise, I can’t stand to look at you, because I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

He says nothing. We have a stare-off, the intensity of the moment thick in the air. He’s acting like a stubborn, overprotective older brother, but he doesn’t need to shield me from Lach. His best friend. His lips part a fraction as if he’s about to say something, but he slams them shut. With a sharp jerk, he rips his gaze away and forces his way past me, his body brushing against mine. I spin around as he stomps down the hallway. I follow him, hot on his heels toward the back door. With a yank, he throws the door open, letting out a loud bang as it slams shut behind him.

An entire gauntlet of emotions race through me. More tears fall and fall and fall. I wipe them away, but they won’t stop. I jog to my bedroom, the floorboards creaking beneath my feet, and slam the door shut. Climbing onto the bed, I curl myself into a ball. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I didn’t expect it to play out like this. Jake’s always been the protective older brother. He’s always watched out for me. Always been there for me. But he doesn’t understand he’s trying to take away the best thing that’s ever happened to me. What if Lach decides this is too much for him? That I’m not worth all this trouble and leaves? What if he goes to Rachel’s? More tears fill my eyes and fall, staining my pillowcase.

My phone chimes with a message. Stretching my arm over to the nightstand, I glance at a blurriness of jumbled words on the screen. I lift the corner of the blanket and dry my tears.

Lach

It’ll be okay. I promise. We’ll figure it out. I’m staying at Rylee’s tonight. And we’ll figure everything out later.

We. He said we. He still wantsusto be awe. I type back a reply.

Eve

---