Page 87 of I Wanna Be Your Lager

“Yeah. I’m going to start small and see where it goes first. But I’m ready to start again.”

He grips my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “Whatever you do, I support you all the way.”

I melt against him. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Sunflower.”

Lach releases me and moves to sit on a stool. While sorting through the mail, a letter from the clinic catches my attention. Everyday since my trip to the clinic with Pax, I’ve been anxiously waiting for the results to arrive. Even though I know he’s the father, this will provide legal documentation. I flip it over and run my finger under the flap, breaking the seal. I pull out the piece of paper and unfold it. Quickly, I scan all the words.

“What’s that?” Lach nods at the paper in my hand.

“It confirms what I already knew. Pax is the dad.” I tuck the letter back in the envelope and push it to the side. I stare at the next letter, and my brows furrow. Holding it up, I ask, “Who’s Archibald Murray?” I peer up at Lach. He’s silent. “Wait. Is that you? Is your first name Archibald?”

His cheeks flush. “Yeah. Clearly, I never use it.”

“I could call you Archie!”

“Or not.” He laughs.

Lach’s real name is Archibald. I never knew this. Why didn’t I know this? What do I actually know about Lach or Archibald? A tear rolls down my cheek. My shoulders shake, and I slap a hand over my mouth.

In an instant, Lach jumps from the stool and is at my side. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know anything about you besides your penis size, which I like, but I know nothing else.” My sobs grow louder.

He laughs. “I’m glad it’s to your satisfaction, but you know more than that. Plus, we’re still getting to know each other. Our relationship is a little different from most, but it’s ours.”

I sniffle. “Rylee said the hormones would get to me. But it’s getting to be a lot.” I dry my damp cheeks. “Yesterday, I cried over a cat video because the cat tried to jump from the bed to the windowsill, and he didn’t make it. And I just felt so sad for the cat because he couldn’t jump. Then there was a video of a dog trying to get a bone from the bottom of his water bowl but couldn’t because it wasn’t a real bone. It was printed. All the dog wanted was his bone.” My eyes open like faucets, and the tears flood down my face.

Lach wraps his arms around me and tugs me to his chest. “It’s okay.”

“And I didn’t even know your first name.” Another sob racks through me.

His hand slides over my head and down my hair. “It’s not something I announce to the world.”

“But these are things I should know. It’s like we don’t even know each other.”

“Hey, look at me.” I peer up at him through wet lashes. “You know a lot about me. You know my favorite breakfast foodis pancakes. You’re the only one who knows I enjoy reading romance books, mostly because I do it with you, and you know I love you more than anything. We have a lifetime to get to know each other.”

I nod. I know he’s right.

His lips press into a thin line, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “You asked me about the significance of my tattoos, and I told you I drew them, which is still true, but it’s deeper than that. The most significant one is the gears that run along my spine.”

FORTY-FOUR

TWO BROKEN SOULS

Lach

This is the part of my life I’ve always kept buried deep underground. Never to be dug up. But it’s still part of who I am, regardless. Eve deserves to know. I want to tell her. I grab her hand and lead her into the living room. I take a seat on the couch, and she sits next to me. The gears tattoo is the one most people ask about because it seems so random, but for me, it’s the one that makes the most sense. I always give them some bullshit reason. They don’t need to know that part of my life. But I trust Eve.

“It was after a rough time in my life. I spent my childhood in foster care. For whatever reason, my parents didn’t want to be parents anymore.” Eve gasps but says nothing as she lets me continue. “For many years, I bounced around from house to house. I don’t know if they didn’t want me or couldn’t handle me. As I got older, it got tougher because I understood it wasn’t permanent.” She inches closer to me and rests a hand on mine. I give her a half smile. “All that changed when I turned fifteen. A couple, George and Sue, took me in. I believed it would be like all the others. Within two years, I’d be in another home.But one year passed and then another. I certainly wasn’t the perfect kid. I was shit at school, mostly because I didn’t go. There was even a time or two I found myself in the back of a police car.” A humorless laugh escapes me. “Sue was an artist, and she convinced me to go to an art class with her. That’s when I discovered my outlet for all my rage, hurt, anger, and loneliness.” Eve squeezes my hand before flipping my palm over and linking our fingers together. I lift our intertwined hands and press a kiss to her knuckles. “At the two-year mark, I was preparing to get shipped off, but it never happened. Sue and George were the only people to show me love and acceptance when no one else had. When I turned eighteen and graduated from high school, I was no longer in the system, so I was on my own.”

“Did you stay in contact with them?”

I nod. “I did. It wasn’t a lot, but I would send pictures of my artwork to Sue and tell them how my life was going. But eight months later, they were both gone. A car accident on an icy road.”

“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, Lach.”

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