Page 89 of I Wanna Be Your Lager

“You’re part of our family now. Just so you know, we can be a little dysfunctional at times, but the love is there, and that’s all that matters.” She gives me a warm smile. “So what do you say? Baby shower?”

“I would love that. Thank you.”

She wraps her arms around me in another tight hug. “This is great! We can do it at my house. I have a ton of space. Plus, there’s a baby balloon arch that needs to make a second appearance.”

Rylee’s house is gorgeous. It’s a large two-story modern farmhouse-style home. If a house could give me an orgasm, it would be this one. Orgasm aside, I don’t know how she did it. In a week, Rylee pulled off organizing a baby shower. Never underestimate a woman on a mission. I expected no one to show up, but the house is full. Rylee, Nora, and Dessa are here, along with Charlie, Olivia, Parisa, Hollyn, and Tatum, who all know Lach from the bar. They welcomed me with open arms. We’ve spent the last hour chatting, eating, and laughing, and it’s been the best day a pregnant woman could ask for.

Rylee organized a variety of games for us, which includedThe Price is Rightfor baby items. My eyes bugged out at the price of what all the baby items cost. I will need to save a few more pennies in my piggy bank. For another game, everyone brought a baby photo of themselves, and we have to guess who the baby was. Rylee won with only having two incorrect. Pin the sperm on the egg was hilarious, and somehow, Dessa got it every time.

Nora rises to her feet with a stack of papers in her hand. “We have one more game to play. If you ask me, we saved the best for last. Don’t flip your paper over yet.” She walks around andpasses us each a piece of paper and a pen. Once everyone has their paper, she says, “Okay. Turn them over!”

I stare, wide-eyed, at the sixteen different squares with pictures of women with various facial expressions.

“You have to guess if the picture is birth or anal!”

The entire room bursts into laughter. Leave it to Nora to pick this game.

Rylee points to one picture. “Olivia, this woman looks familiar. What are you letting Ledger do to you?”

Olivia laughs. “I’m going on record to say Ledger has never put his cock in my ass.” She shrugs. “Now, my vibrator is a different story.”

The room falls into another fit of laughter. Time ticks by as we make our guesses. Based on all these pictures there’s a fine line between pain and pleasure. Honestly, I’m hoping all of them are anal because I don’t want to imagine the agony of what birth may look like. Unfortunately, I was wrong. All wrong. All the images I thought were anal were birth and vice versa. Olivia got them all right.

After most of the guests leave, I lower myself to the couch, not wanting to move for the next twenty-four hours. There was so much food, and laughter, and so many gifts. I don’t know where I’m going to put everything. But I’m so grateful. Rylee, Dessa, and Nora join me in the living room.

“Ugh, I’m going to kill Lach.” Rylee, Dessa, and I turn to Nora. She peers up at us from her phone. “Sorry. I hope you haven’t gotten too attached because he’s a dead man.”

“Technically, he’s not the baby daddy, but he gives me massages and food, so I’d like to keep him around for a little longer. What did he do?” I ask.

She slams her phone down on the couch cushion. “He told Miles about OneDate, and now he wants to join to get dating practice. The app is not a tool for education.”

“What’s the harm in him joining?” I shrug. “He’s a really nice guy.”

“Sure, he’s a nice guy. But he also has the ‘I want a girlfriend’ flashing billboard above his head. The purpose of OneDate isn’t to find a partner but to help ease the pressure from others about not having a partner. Miles will be five seconds away from asking out anyone he goes on a date with.”

“I think you’re being a little harsh,” Rylee interjects, crossing her leg over her knee.

“Nope,” Nora says with a firm shake of her head. “I’m trying to run a legitimate business. Not a daycare service.”

“If you don’t want him on the app, you could show him the ropes on dating yourself.” Rylee lifts a brow.

“Ugh, I’d rather let him join the app.”

Rylee smiles triumphantly, “There you go. You have your answer.”

Nora glares at Rylee. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“We are on your side,” I add. “But Miles is a nice guy. He deserves a fair chance, just like everyone else.”

“Fine,” Nora sighs. “But if he asks out every girl he goes on a date with, you all owe me a new handbag.” She points her finger at each of us. We all laugh but agree.

When I arrive home, I’m exhausted, but it was still one of the best days I’ve ever had. Lach helps me haul everything inside and into the nursery. I’ll work on putting it all away later. Until then, I’m ready to relax, take my socks off, and put my feet up. I ease down on the couch and rest my feet on the coffee table. I wiggle my little sausage toes. My naked sausage toes. Damn. I don’t remember the last time I had a pedicure, let alone paintedmy nails, and I’m in need of pretty nails. I lean forward and stretch my hand out, but my belly stops me. That’s not going to work either.

I rise from the couch and waddle up the stairs. In the bathroom, I grab a bottle of pink sparkly nail polish from a drawer in the vanity and head back downstairs. I pass Lach while he brings the last of the shower gifts inside. He eyes me warily but says nothing. The silverware drawer rattles as I yank it open. Next, I find the duct tape and pull a strip from the roll.

“What are you doing?” Lach’s voice sounds from the living room.

“Improvising.”

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