Page 72 of Smoke

“You’re in the hospital?—”

“Hospital?” My hand instantly flew to my belly. “My baby… is my baby okay?”

I began to panic as my memory came back to me in pieces. I remembered falling then Ms. Sherry being there, but the rest was fuzzy. The monitor started going off, and the nurse ran in to check on me.

“Ms. Mitchell, you have to calm down, sweetheart,” she said, squeezing my hands.

“Is my baby okay? Please, just tell me!”

My ob-gyn walked in and came over to the bed. She looked at me with a sympathetic smile that almost sent me into another panic.

“You’re okay. You’re okay. Baby Juri is okay too. Take some deep breaths for me, Romi.”

I tried my hardest to gather myself. They weren’t going to tell me anything until I was calm, and even then, what if it was something I couldn’t handle? Closing my eyes, I took several deep breaths until my heart rate returned to normal.

“Please,” I whispered. “Is my baby okay?”

“We weren’t able to stop the contractions, so we had to deliver her. She’s tiny, three pounds twelve ounces. Her lungs aren’t fully developed, so she’s on a breathing tube. Her sucking and swallowing reflexes aren’t fully developed yet either, so she has a feeding tube. Even with all that, she’s a strong little girl. I have full confidence that with a couple of weeks in the NICU, she will be ready to go home.”

I burst into tears.

My heart was broken that my baby had to come before her time because of me. My family crowded around me, offering me love and support.

“She’s gonna be good, baby,” my father said, kissing my forehead. “Our girl has a strong mother, and she’s got your strength too. God’s got his hands on her.”

“I just wanna see her!” I wailed. “Please, can I see her?”

My doctor nodded. “We can grab you a wheelchair and take you to her.”

She left the room, and the nurse began unhooking me so she could transport me. A minute or so later, the doctor returned with the wheelchair. I tossed back the covers and allowed them to help me out of bed. The pain was a solid seven, but I would brave through it to see my baby girl.

Once settled in the seat, I reached for my mother’s hand. I was going to need her to face this moment.

“We’ll wait for you here,” my father said, kissing my temple.

“I’m gonna go pick Korri up from school,” Renay said.

“Thank you.”

“I love you, sis.”

“I love you too.”

As I was rolled out of the room, my name was called. I turned to see Laurel running down the hall toward me.

“Hey, you’re up,” she said, hugging me. “I brought your things by earlier. I wasn’t sure what to do today, so I closed the shop.”

“You were there?”

“Yeah. I helped Ms. Sherry get you into her car.”

“Oh… well, thank you. You can wait inside if you want. I’m going to see Juri.”

“Okay.”

She kissed my cheek and dipped into the room. I grabbed my mother’s hand as the nurse began rolling me down the hall. It was the longest five minutes of my life. When I could finally see the NICU sign, my chest began to tighten. The doors opened,and we rolled through. I took a deep breath as we headed into the room where Juri was being held.

As we approached the incubator, my hands began to tremble. My mother squeezed tightly, giving me reassurance. The sight of all the wires and tubes hooked up to my baby broke my heart.

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