Did he fall asleep?
The door is unlocked when I test it, and I open it just a crack to peek inside. My senses are immediately overwhelmed by his scent. Subconsciously, I take a deep inhale. God, he’s always smelled so good.
Spotting Nate at his desk, I notice he has his headphones on and didn’t hear me knocking. So I make my way across the room, sliding the s’more onto his desk in front of him, careful not to make a mess of the journal he’s writing in.
He slips off his headphones, and his million-dollar smile spreads across his face when he sees me.
“Sorry, I was about to come back down…” He looks from me to the s’more. “Aw, thank you. This looks delicious,” he says, wasting no time and taking a bite.
“Wait, was there caramel in that?”
I smile shyly, knowing that’s another one of his favorites. “Yeah, out of all the combinations, I thought the Rolo was the best.”
“Fucking delicious. Good call.”
“Is Willow okay?” I ask, my voice full of concern. Knowing what I know now about his parents, I regret not staying in touch with her.
“Yeah, I assumed it was something about my mom, but really, she just wanted an update on life after my first win…” He swallows, then adds, “And you.”
I stand there staring at him, taking in the sight of his shirtless chest for the second time today. Except this time, I'm not surrounded by a crowd of people. It's just him and me…alone.
Closing my eyes, I try to steel my resolve. Why do I keep putting myself in this position?
Because you want to.
“Thank you for today,” Nate says, causing my eyes to pop open.
“For what?”
“For allowing us to have fun and for my lasagna,” he winks.
I chuckle and roll my eyes. “I had a good time today. And for the record, Graham asked me what your favorite was.”
“And you could have said beef stew…”
“But you hate beef stew,” I reply, crinkling my nose as he stands up from his chair. Putting himself in dangerously close range to my racing heart.
“Exactly,” he whispers, tilting my chin to look him in the eyes. “That’s why I said thank you.”
“Well, I guess you're welcome… It was no big deal.” I try my best to make it seem like it was nothing with my casual tone. But when Graham had texted me the question, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind what I would say.
“It was to me,” he says, his chin sinking down to his chest. And that’s when, just over his shoulder, I spot something hanging on the inside of his closet door. My belly swoops.
No way.
I walk around him in disbelief as I approach the mounted collage. The one I made for him. My fingers trace over the photos as the memories come flooding in. Our love and happiness pictured in every photo has my heart hammering. He kept it…
Spinning around, I'm startled by Nate’s close proximity to me. He reaches for my hip and pulls me in closer. And I don’t resist. His forehead rests on mine as we stand in comfortable silence.
“I’ve looked at those photos every day,” he admits, pulling back and brushing a wild strand of hair out of my face.
My breath stutters, and before I know what I'm doing, I'm leaning up on my tiptoes and gently coasting my lips across his. His fingers tighten as I deepen the kiss for only a moment. My body melts at the feel of his lips on mine. Knowing this isn’t right, knowing I can’t handle being hurt by him again, I stop myself from taking this any further. This is all too fucking confusing.
Placing my hand on his chest, I push away slowly. “Goodnight, Nate,” I say, then turn and walk out of the room before I dig myself an even deeper hole.
As soon as I’m out of his room, I lean against the wall outside of his closed door, catching my breath. My fingers trace over my lips that still tingle from touching his after all this time.
I close my eyes and silently berate my decisions. I’m not sure if I'm more pissed at myself for what I’ve done, or for the fact that I want to do it again.