Page 38 of Replay

I rake my hands through the longer strands of my hair and blow out a breath.

Relenting, I nod, heart pounding in my ears. “Can I come in?”

She looks down at her Apple watch, then back at me. “Yeah, they should both be in class by now.”

Berkley unlocks the door with a shaky hand, and I follow in behind her. I’m not sure who’s more on edge.

The door opens into the kitchen, where I notice the pink roses sitting in their vase. It’s cozy and feminine, the exact way I envisioned where she would live. She walks over to the couch, moving the plush light pink pillows over slightly for us to sit. Then she turns to me, and I know there’s no more avoiding this conversation.

I swallow roughly, trying to control my emotions before I begin.

“It all started about five days before we broke up.”

Her eyebrows furrow, and I take a deep breath to center myself once more.

“During one of my parents’ fights, I overheard my dad say something to my mom I couldn’t quite process at first.”

“What?” she immediately asks.

“He said…” I wish I could go back and tell her all this two years ago.

Walking in the back door of the house, I immediately stop in my tracks at the screaming coming from the kitchen.

My dad’s angry words echo down the hallway. “This is un-fucking believable. I can’t believe you’re seeing him again. After everything.” I hear what sounds like his hand slamming against the countertop. “Especially not even considering your son in all of this. You are even more selfish than I realized.”

With more sadness in his words, my dad speaks again. “Fucking hell, Jane. Did you really not think about that? He loves that girl so much.”

I hear a huff, then my mom sneers. “They’re just kids, Brian. Don’t give me a guilt trip.”

“Get out of my fucking house!” My dad yells.

Not wanting to see either of them, I sneak back out the way I came in.

Berkley’s eyes trace my face as her brain works through what I’m telling her.

“I contemplated asking my dad for days, but I was almost too scared to know the answer. But then, the morning after the pool party, there was no denying my assumptions.” I shake my head, wishing I could erase the memory from my mind. “I walked out to the kitchen, knowing you’d need a big glass of water when you woke up, but unfortunately, something caught my eye on your back patio…”

“My mom and your dad in an undeniable romantic embrace.”

My gut churns just like it did that morning when I laid back down in bed beside her. I hate the shocked look on Berkley’s face as the realization hits her.

She gasps. “Your mom was the reason we moved from Nori Beach to begin with, wasn’t she?”

I nod. “According to my dad, who I confronted right before I left for school, their affair had spanned over several years.”

“Oh my god.” She leans forward, putting her face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry. I should have told you, but I was scared. I felt like I would still lose you, and on top of that, the idea of the fairy tale you thought your parents had would be shattered, along with therespect you had for your father.” I want to hold her, but I know she needs some space.

“You should have. They ruined her, they ruined us.” Her voice rises with every word. “I FUCKING hate them.”

“I do too.” The whisper sounds as painful as all this feels.

She looks up at me, and I hate the tears in her eyes are because of me. “I remember how off you were that week. I just assumed it was nerves over us being long distance.”

Shaking my head vigorously, I respond truthfully. “I was a coward that morning, using that as an excuse, but I thought I was doing the right thing for you.” I take her hand in mine. “I knew your dad was so important to you after losing your mom, and I didn’t want to ruin the image you had of the man you loved so much. But even more than that, I didn’t want to ruin the happy image you had of your mother’s life before her aneurysm. And I felt like if we were together and I hid it from you, that would be the ultimate betrayal.”

I’d give anything to go back and rethink that decision that changed the trajectory of both our lives.

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