Page 42 of Replay

My finger hovers over Nate’s number in my contact list. I never could bring myself to delete it permanently. His name looks so formal, Nathan Outlaw. I guess that was one of my tactics back then to make him seem less than what he was to me.

The boy who broke my soul.

The boy I loved, even when I wished I could stop.

I scroll down to find another number I haven’t called in a long time. Someone who at one point was like a little sister to me, and even though I regret it now, at the time, it just hurt too much to stay in close contact with her. Part of me wonders if she even wants to hear from me, but I push the doubt away.

The phone picks up, and I hear rustling. “Is this real life?” Willow’s voice sounds through the line, somehow the exact same but also so different.Older.

Unable to hold in a laugh before responding, I say, “Some days, I’m not sure anymore, babe.”

“Fuck, it is you. That same sweet voice.” This time, she nearly whispers, like she’s trying to decide if this actually is real.

“Excuse me, missy. When did you start usingfuckin your vocabulary?”

Now it's her turn to let out a raspy laugh. “The day I realized life was full of no fucks to be given.”

I fake a gasp. “My little spitfire turned into a full-on rebel, huh?”

“Total anarchist. And B, I hate to tell you, but I’m not little Willow anymore.”

“Unless you grew a ton since the last picture I saw of you, I’m sure I’ve still got you by a couple inches,” I tease, trying to picture her now; she was always gorgeous. I can only imagine her now, with her big blue eyes, probably a sleek jawline like her brother, and sexy tattoos on her sun-kissed skin.

“Maybe if you’d update your social media, I’d know a little something. Your brother also said you have more ink than him.”

“Social media isn’t for true rebels, babe.” I can almost see her smirk.

“Also, all I really heard there was that you talked to my brother. Tell me about that...”

I feel a blush creep onto my face at her comment.

“I mean, he did show up at my school like an asshole.”

“Funny how that worked out, right?”

I huff a laugh. “I’ve been thinking the same thing. But I’m tolerating him.”

“Same.”

A pregnant silence stretches between us. “How are you, Will? Truly?”

She lets out a little grunt. “I’m ok. Getting there.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your parents,” I say gently, trying to broach the subject.

“It’s for the best. I just want my dad to be happy.”

“Well, he’s already the eye candy of my place of employment.” I leave out the part about my one co-worker I officially never want to talk to again after she told me she’d give anything for the father and son duo to tag team her.

“Fuck, great, so he’s definitely not allowed to visit me next year.”

I can’t help but laugh again, until it hits me what she had just said. “Wait, are you coming here?”

“Yep! Well, the dean said I should be a shoo-in. I’m hoping to get my early acceptance soon.”

I sit up, reaching for the Diet Coke that’s sitting beside the empty taco takeout box on my bedside table.

“I’m so excited to hear that. You should come visit and stay with me so you don’t have to stay with all those stinky boys.”

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