Page 33 of Aim for Love

I come inside my underwear like a teenager, and thank goodness I brought an extra pair on this overnight trip because I’m going to need them.

She curls up against me, tucked into her bag, and “hmms” softly in my ear. “I think I can sleep now.”

“Hmm…” Words are too difficult for me.

She drifts off quickly, her breath growing even against my neck. Now I’m the one thinking about how quiet it is between us and how there are more and more words being left unsaid.

twelve

MOLLIE

After a long,hot shower to get the camping trip off me, all I really want is to crawl into bed. But Nora and Sophie told everyone tomorrow’s my birthday, and also invited themselves along on my axe-throwing date with Hunter. And I hate to miss any time with Hunter—it’s so limited.

When I woke up this morning to the gentle way he rubbed my shoulders and encouraged me to consciousness so I could crawl back to my tent before anyone else woke up, for those first few sleepy moments I imagined it was the first morning of many. Hunter and I, waking up like this. Hunter and I, whispering together at night before we both fall asleep.

Briefly, I thought we were at the beginning of a long journey together. I went back to my tent and cried softly to myself for a few minutes, with no one around to see. It’s not that I’ve never faced heartbreak before. It’s that this one seems so unnecessary. Who am I to travel to the middle of nowhere and meet the man of my dreams?

Anyway, my friends tell me I need to squeeze the last bit of juice out of my 20s.

Everyone else shows up when we get to the axe-throwing place—Scott, Tyler, Zoe, and even Tom. Hunter acts a little different when Tom is around, stiffer and less aware of me. So I’m not thrilled to see him—or any of them, turning me into the center of attention.

Their presence does apparently mean free drinks. The owner of the axe-throwing alley comes out with a pitcher of draft beer, shouting, “I hear we have a birthday!”

“Dirty 30!” Nora cheers.

And then Tom pulls out a box of assorted pastries. “These are from Dorothy. I stopped by before the cafe closed and she gave me everything she was going to throw out. No offense, Mollie. She also sent along a cupcake for you.”

He lights a single candle on top of the cupcake and everyone in the venue sings before I blow it out. It’s incredibly embarrassing and also really nice. I can’t remember the last birthday I had where a group of friends got together and sang to me. I was probably a kid.

Let this birthday be the beginning of a decade where I really live,I wish silently. My 20s were full of trying to live up to who people wanted me to be—my mom, my friends, even myself. Now I’m ready to be a grown up who knows who she is and isn’t afraid of that reality.

Sharing two lanes, we all line up and throw axes. I am by far the worst at it. Even Nora and Sophie hit the target most of the time. My axes are still going wide, not sticking, or landing on the outside edge. At least I still feel like a bad ass every time I pick up an axe; that’s what keeps me going.

That and the way Hunter asks every time before he puts his hands on me to adjust my form.

Tom, who has not stopped refilling his plastic cup since he got here, finally asks about it. “Aren’t you two dating? She’s probably OK with you touching her, Hunter.”

Tyler and Scott both guffaw.

Behind me, Hunter’s skin goes hot after the comment. I know he’s not thrilled that his boss thinks he’s “dating” me. Hunter’s need to impress Tom—to show him he can do more—reminds me of me. If Tom doesn’t think he’s a professional, he certainly won’t give him more responsibility.

“Consent is important,” Hunter says stiffly.

“Aww,” coo Nora and Sophie.

“Why hasn’t someone scooped this guy up yet?” Sophie murmurs to Nora, at the same time Tom is protesting that he believes in consent, too.

“Because he lives in a remote town and works a seasonal job,” Nora replies dryly.

“Oh, right.”

Hunter’s job isn’t seasonal, though. He and Scott are the only employees Tom keeps on year-round. Hunter told me Tom can’t afford more than that. If I told them that, I’d probably have to tell them they work just under the minimum that would require Tom to provide them benefits. And they’d be appalled. I was shocked when Hunter mentioned it. He added that Tom’s insurance would cover things like accidents. “I’m not totally reckless,” he insisted.

Of course, I know Hunter is far from reckless. Still, Sophie and Nora might not see him the way I do.

“Mollie, does Hunter need to ask every time he helps your form?” Tom is still trying to make his point.

“It’s fine, Hunter,” I tell him, trying to smooth things over.

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