Page 43 of Aim for Love

“To be clear, this isn’t how I would massage most people,” I tell her.

She laughs. “I bet you tell that to all the girls.”

She’s joking, we both are, but my objection clogs my throat for a moment.There are no other girls.

Surely there will be in the future, though. Some perfect woman who wants to live where I live and do what I do and tries really hard at everything she does and has short hair and laughs when I touch her with my callused hands?

Opening my mouth, I’m not sure what to say but I know I need to say something. Deny that I don’t want this. Admit that she’s the only woman who’s ever made me want to break the rules. Tell her she’s the secret trail I’ve searched for my whole life.

Then we hear the sound of the hotel door’s key lock. I roll off, landing on the floor, and Mollie and I both grab at bedding to cover our nakedness.

“Oh my god!” Sophie shouts. “What are you doing on my bed?”

Nora follows her in and surveys us coolly, me barely covering my balls with an edge of the duvet. “Those comforters never get washed, you know.”

“And now weseewhat people do with them!” Sophie adds. “Oh my god, it smells like sex in here. Open a window or something!”

“Um, could you turn around or something while I grab my pants?” I’m trying to be reasonable, but this is embarrassing. Heat climbs the back of my neck. Mollie, clutching a pillow to her chest, looks back at me with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she mouths, then glowers at her friends. “You guys weren’t supposed to be back yet.”

“Well,somebodygot so drunk they weren’t going to be much use to me,” Nora says. She glares at Hunter. “I think you’re making him depressed.”

“Scott?” I blink back at her, momentarily forgetting the chill around my dick. Only momentarily. “Wait. Can we have this conversation when I’m fully clothed please?”

Nora and Sophie both roll their eyes and make a show out of turning their backs. I grab my clothes and put them on as fast as I do when I’m camping in freezing weather and just crawled out of my sleeping bag. My dick has shriveled from its previous enthusiastic state. When I look over, Mollie only has her bra and a pair of shorts on.

“We’re decent,” she says, and pulls a t-shirt over her head. Her friends turn around, arms folded over both chests.

“Hunter, you can leave,” Nora says. “Maybe go check on Scott.”

“Yeah, we made sure he got home OK but he was a mess,” Sophie adds.

Mollie nods at me. Reluctant to abandon her when her friends look so serious, I stubbornly kiss her on the cheek beneath their judgy gazes before I go. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say. “Text me if…” I trail off, because I’m not sure how to finish that. Mollie doesn’t need me. We made sure of that with our deal.

“Last day to become an expert outdoorswoman!”

From her eyes, I can tell that she’s pretending to be cheerful, and I pause before I grab my jacket and shoes off the floor. She smiles and Nora clears her throat, so I guess this isn’t the moment to follow up.

As the hotel door closes behind me, I hear Nora saying to Mollie, “Is this an addiction? Do you need an intervention?”

I walk away—practice for the real thing—and like I will be later this week, I’m sure I’m doing the wrong thing. I’m not going to check on Scott; I’m going to hold tightly to the comforting fact that he and Mollie proved we’re all wrong together. I’m going to hold tightly to the very real fact that this week will end, she will go home, and I will never forget the moment I almost asked her not to go. And didn’t.

sixteen

MOLLIE

Strangely,I’m not that nervous about the axe-throwing tournament. Maybe it’s a false sense of confidence from all my practicing? False because even in practice, I’m not very good.

Hunter is sure that, if I keep at it, everything will click into place. “You’re wearing a new groove,” he says. Maybe if I trust the process hard enough, he’ll start to believe the same thing about us, too. We just need to click in place.

Maybe today is the day everything starts working.

So I’m hopeful, walking into the alley wearing my lucky red shoes. I’m dressed in one of the many “date” outfits I brought on this trip and have not needed because we’ve mostly done athletic activities. I think I look cuter than I normally do when Hunter sees me, and I’m excited to get his reaction.

Instead of looking shocked—underneath all that dirt is a pretty girl?—he smiles at me normally and gives my hand a little squeeze. “You OK?” he asks.

My nod is probably too quick for someone in the middle of a life transition. I think he’s talking about Nora and Sophie and last night, and that’s all fine. Other than being blocked fromhaving more great sex, or the conversation Hunter and I really needed to have.

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