Page 49 of Aim for Love

Maybe I did the same thing to Mollie. Maybe I didn’t see more. And maybe I can only see Scott one way, too.

“When you took her on that hike,” I say slowly. “Did you have more than one route in mind?”

“Of course,” Scott says. “I wasn’t going to make them do anything. It was their choice.”

“And you think Mollie only did that to impress me?”

“She says yes to everything when you’re involved, man,” he says.

“It doesn’t seem sustainable,” I say, worried. What if she moves and regrets getting carried away?

“Love can surprise you,” Sara says. A couple of the men scoff. “No, really,” she insists. “People change their lives for less.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t know,” Scott says. “Hunter, though, basically does everything for love. That’s why he commits so hard. And I don’t know Mollie that well, but I think she might be the same. If she loves it here, who’s to tell her that’s not a good enough reason to move? That’s why I moved here. And it’s why you stayed.”

“That’s true,” I acknowledge.

“So why is it OK for you and not for her?”

Diana the obvious question, and I hear it, but I can’t say the answer out loud:Because I have no future and Mollie should.

Maybe the problem has been me, all along.

“So, are you two going to make up, now?” Sara asks.

“It’s OK if you can’t forgive me,” Scott says. “Yet. I mean, you will eventually, right?”

I frown down at the forest floor beneath me. It’s stopped raining, and the sun is already back out. Things are starting to warm up and dry out. Without rain, there’s very little moisture in the air here.

Standing up, I walk past the group of curious faces to Scott. He stands up to meet me, and looks like he’s bracing himself. Like I might punch him. I’ve never punched anyone in my life and I’m not going to start now.

“Think twice before you invite someone to do something you would do next time,” I say, meeting his eyes for the first time in days. “You’re not a good gauge for what people should be doing.”

He winces, and I feel the rest of the group react the same way.

“I get it,” Scott says. “I make choices that more reasonable people, people who care about the future, shouldn’t make. It’s fine,” he adds to the group.

“That was a little harsh,” Diana says.

“Sorry,” I say automatically. “Maybe it was.”

Scott smiles and claps me on the back. “Maybe you’re not a very good gauge for less serious people, Hunter. The rest of us should probably think twice before doing serious things, like you said.”

If I’m a serious person, I don’t need to mess around with this fake affection bullshit. So I give him a hug. The group of hikers cheers and claps.

Then, working together, Scott and I gather them and their gear and head back down the trail. We have two days left of thistrip. I plan to spend it thinking about what I actually want from my future—and how to get it.

eighteen

MOLLIE

Mom buys a condo—sheplans to spend a chunk of the winter in town—and I move into it. It takes a month and a few trips back and forth between the city. I sell a lot of my crappy, one-season furniture and discover I don’t really own that much that I want to keep. Mom sends a truckload of her nicer things, saying it’s a good investment for when she spends time there.

The whole move, I ask myself, “Am I overreacting? Am I being too hasty?” Then I get a ticket for my car edging into the sidewalk while I’m loading boxes into it—I have nowhere else to park!—and my so-called friends bail on helping me pack to go to brunch. I’m ready, if nothing else, for something different. I can always move back to the city if I don’t like it in Telluride long-term.

“Life is about change,” Mom says. “It’s about trying things, seeing if they work out, and then adjusting accordingly. We’re doing the same thing right now, you and I. We’re trying something new to see how it goes. We can always change our minds.”

Hopefully my mom doesn’t change her mind before I do, because I really can’t afford this move without her.

---