Page 63 of Mated To My Boss

I feel all my energy beginning to deflate. Madeline is right, and I regret everything I've done that has brought us to this point. “I shouldn't have done all those things.”

“That's not the point, Nate. You did them anyway because you wanted to. Because you feel something. You can't keep playing this hating game. Why are you doing this to me?”

“I was just trying to be nice.”

“Do you hear yourself? You were trying to be nice?” Madeline mocks me.

“It's the truth,” I double down. “Madeline, I'm being nice to you because I care about you.”

“You can't do all these things if you don't have feelings. You wouldn't do all the stuff you've already done if you didn't have feelings for me. Who would go through all this stress for a mate they don't like?”

“I'm not saying I don't like you.” I pause for a breath. “I'm saying there are no feelings here. This bond, it's messing with our emotions, but I don't believe there's anything under the surface.”

Madeline’s expression remains unfazed. I notice her anger intensifying. “That's not true.”

“There you go again,” I argue. “You're playing mind games with me. You always do this.”

She gasps, taken aback. “What the fuck? How amIthe one playing mind games here?”

“I can't do anything for you without having to overthink it first,” I say. “It's not like I can even ignore you because you're here. You're at my job and for a while now, you've been under me.”

Madeline stubbornly folds her arms. “So? What's your point?”

“My point is I have to take care of you. I have to look out for you because you're Cora’s niece. Your age also requires me to take care of you. I still have to look after you while you're in my care. You're essentially my responsibility.”

The words fly out uncontrollably and strike Madeline square in the chest. I see her hand drop to her chest as tears stream down her face.

I feel like pulling my hair out in clumps as regret builds within me. All I want is to reach out and hold her.Fuck, No! I shouldn't have said that.

“I have to go.”

Unlike before, Madeline doesn't try to stop me as I walk out of her room and her apartment. I step out, feeling more shitty than I've felt in such a long time.

I go to my car and inside I bash the wheel repeatedly. The car horn blares, but I don't give two shits about it.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”What is wrong with me?

Just thinking about the fact that Madeline is crying now makes me absolutely sad. My heart breaks slowly in my chest and I'm not even sure if it's from me or the bond. Either way, it's a terrible feeling.

I turn the engine on, and it gives a low hum of appreciation. I drive through the streets in the middle of the night, trying to find my way home. My house isn't where I end up, though. I look at the white exterior of my friend's house and weigh my options.Graham would do this if he were in my shoes.

I shake my head and hit the steering wheel again. Thankfully, the horn doesn't go off. I park the car and get out with a deep sigh. “Why does life have to be this difficult?”

I lean against my car, just casually hanging out in the middle of the night. A light comes on in Graham's place, so I know he's home.

I’m also aware that Rose is away on a trip, which gives me a chance to talk to my buddy one-on-one. Still, reluctance nearly overwhelms me.

“Fuck this.”

I knock on the front door before I think too much and psych myself out of the decision. I knock again. When there's still no answer, I defer to the doorbell. When that doesn't work, I turn back around, feeling more foolish than before.

“What was I fucking thinking?” I mutter in misery. “I shouldn't have done this, I should've just gone home.” The sentiment remains in my head, but Graham's door opens before I get too far.

There's a look of apprehension on his face. “Nate? What are you doing here? Is this about Grant's message?”

Shit, it's been such a wild night, I haven't even checked updates from the alpha.

“Don't just stand there,” Graham says, pulling me from my thoughts. “Come in.”

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