Page 6 of Reviving Kendall

“You know those assholes?” the nice one asks.

Before I can answer glasses says, “Get in the car. We’re taking you home.”

“I’m fi-“

“I swear to god, if you say that you’re fine, I will pick you up and throw you in the car myself,” he says pushing through the other two and coming face to face with me.

My nerves have had all that they can take tonight, “I don’t even fucking know you! Haven’t you ever heard of stranger danger?”

He points to himself, “Maverick, Teagan, Goose, and Lucas.” Then facing me he points to my chest, “Kendall. There. Happy? Now get in the car.” Turning to walk back towards the car, he gets in and slams the door.

“Fine!” I yell. “You want to take me home? Let’s do this.” At least this will kill any notions any of them had of being even friends with me. Once they see where I live that is.

It only takes us ten minutes, but it’s pure fucking torture on my anxiety. So much so that I’m borderline panic attack by the time that I say, “Right here.”

I hop out of the passenger seat and shut the door of their brand-new Range Rover. The window rolls down and I spread my arms wide, “There it is boys. Home sweet home. And this is where you run back to Surburbiaville and forget about the poor girl from the trailer park. Thanks for the ride.”

I put one foot in front of the other and make it all the way inside before I break down.

Want to Make a Deal?

After crying myself to sleep last night, I wake up with darker than normal circles under my eyes. Rolling over, I stare at the ceiling and try to figure out why it matters so much. It really shouldn’t. Pity parties have no room in my life. Don’t have the time and in the end will get me nowhere, yet here I lay wallowing.

I rub the heels of my hands against my eyes before throwing back the covers and getting up. Tossing my hair up in its usual bun, I dress in a black tank and button up red flannel shirt. The jeans I pull on just so happen to be my favorite. They come from a yard sale about a year ago and are faded with holes in the knees, but I love them. Safe and comfortable is just what I need today.

Running a pot of coffee, I take my time sipping at the first cup. My eyes catch on the glint of silver of the keys hanging by the door. It would be so nice to drive today, but after the almost panic attack last night, it probably isn’t such a good idea yet.

I pour the rest of the coffee and a tad touch of creamer in my thermos and grab my leather jacket before heading out the door.

I manage to make it all the way to lunch without thinking about last night. Of course, as lost in my head that I was this morning, I forgot to pack my lunch. On a more positive note, I haven’t had to deal with any of the dicks today, so I’m just going to steer clear of the cafeteria and go to the library to work on my research paper that’s due Friday.

I should have known that would be too easy. Just as my hand reaches out for the door, it opens and pops me right across the knuckles.

“Oops, sorry,” a blonde says coming out.

“Don’t waste your breath on trailer trash, new girl,” Stacey Marsh says following her out. Just fucking great. The pod squad. You know, I get Derrik’s hatred, but I’ll never understand Stacey’s. It may have something to do with his obsession with torturing me, as if I have something to do with that. Everyone knows they’ve been dating since freshman year.

“Excuse me,” I say to the last of the pods, Sarah, still standing in the doorway, a blonde Barbie just like the rest of them.

She sneers at me, “Hey Stacey, aren’t those the clothes that you donated to the Salvation Army last week?”

I force my way in beside her and leave them cackling at the door. Finding a secluded corner of the room, I hunker down and get absolutely nothing done. Rain spatters against the window and I watch the water run in little rivulets down the glass. Tears roll down my face in the same pattern. I’ve never cried at school, because these people mean absolutely nothing to me. With all of the other shit going on in my head, though, it’s unstoppable. The ache of missing Casey, Will, and Brian is so deep today. It burns me so far down that I feel it in my soul. I’m surprised to look at my hands and still see flesh instead of ash. Depression is its own kind of evil and it’s weighing me down. I won’t even have the reprieve of work tonight.

When the last bell rings, I’m nothing more than a zombie. A walking bag of skin and bones with nothing firing upstairs. I hear my name being called, but I ignore it. There’s no one worth talking to at this place.

A warm hand grasps me at the elbow, “Kendall?”

My first instinct is to punch first and ask questions later, but I recognize the voice. The brown haired nice guy.

“Did you not hear me calling for you?” Lucas asks.

The bus behind me lets out a whoosh of air and closes its door. It’s getting ready to pull away and mine will be right behind it.

Lucas pulls my attention back to him, “Hey, are you ok?”

The rain steadily falls around us as we stand under the little canopy area. His hand is still at my elbow and I want nothing more than to lean into him. My eyes fall to my bus as it pulls away from the curb. Tears pool in my eyes and streak down my face at the thought of my now miserable walk home.

Lucas uses his other hand to pull my chin up to face him. His eyes roam over my face like he’s trying to figure out how to fix the white trash ruin that I am, but he has no idea just how impossible that would be. People are staring, and I couldn’t give two shits as Lucas locks eyes with me. His flick down to my lips and back up again.

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