Page 30 of Love Starves

She nods as though she expected that answer. "Well, your friends found you passed out on the floor of your bedroom. You'd overdosed on cocaine."

One little word and it all comes flooding back in. I knew what I was doing when I took that whole bag and made neat lines all the way down my vanity. I shouldn't even be here right now.

Catching my grimace, she has an idea that I've gotten part of my memory back. "You were lucky your friends found you when they did. We can't confirm if you had any seizures, but your brain and heart look healthy. From the levels in your system, it should've killed you, so you're very lucky you're alive today. Since you're awake, we're going to keep you until tomorrow morning for observation and then you'll be transferred to Rockcliff where you'll be staying for a couple weeks under observation."

Suicide watch. That's understandable and the cuffs make sense now. Clenching my eyes shut, I let my head drop back to the pillow and will myself not to cry in front of this woman.

"Is there anyone you'd like for us to call for you?" she asks.

"My parents are out of town," I tell her. Not like I'd call them anyway. "And I don't remember my friend's numbers off the top of my head."

At that, she smiles. "Oh, I don't think you'll have to worry about that. You've had a long line of visitors waiting to see you. I'll make sure they're notified that you're awake."

I want to tell her thank you, or that I don't know why I did what I did, but I can't. As she leaves, I can't stop thinking about the fact that I almost died. What was I thinking? I don't want to be dead. Losing the battle with my tears, I let them free until they quickly become sobs and I cry myself back to sleep.

Next time I wake, it's to Imma and Jade knocking to come inside. Pushing the button on the side of my bed, I raise it until I'm almost sitting. They stand there all awkward as shit until I ask, "So, you were the friends that found me then?"

Jade snorts, making her way over to the chair against the wall and throws a thumb at Imma. "She was."

"Thanks," I whisper hoarsely.

Her eyes fill with unshed tears, and I can tell there's a ton of questions hidden in the depths. What she hits me with is even harder. "You could've reached out to us. During my pregnancy you guys were all I had at certain points. It's not a one-sided street. We're here for you, too. Everyone pitched in and got you some pretty flowers, but the nurse wouldn't let me bring them in."

She's right. I should've called them instead of assuming the worst. I've just always been let down and disappointed by people that it's a hard habit to break. I'd be dead right now if it wasn’t for that book club and the women in front of me now. Imma and I are both choked up with tears, so I break the tension, teasing, "That's because they're afraid I'll hang myself with the stems."

It makes them laugh which makes me feel a little more lighthearted. When Jade mentions that she knows a certain jock that she'd like to hang with the flowers, we all lose it.

"Oh, and don't worry," she adds. "We'll bring the next meeting to you if you're not out of the hospital, so you better catch up on the reading."

Her banter and carefree attitude makes me laugh again. I've actually kind of missed it, making it easier to admit, "They're sending me to Rockcliff when I leave tomorrow. I'll probably have to stay for a few weeks there."

Jade blanches but takes a deep breath, saying then we'll just have to have it there. Imma jumps in, "We're only allowed a few minutes in here, but we fought the others to be your first visitors."

I don't even need to ask who the others are. I'm surprised they weren't beating down the damn door like the savages they are. I thank Imma again before they leave, and both her and Jade shock me with hugs. Those damn tears threaten to fall again, but they evaporate as Giovanni appears in the doorway. The man will never look anything less than sexy and today is no exception. However, I will not be the first to break this silence since he owes me something and I believe he knows it.

"I'm so very sorry, love," he starts, moving to my side. Requesting permission to sit on my bed with his eyes, I nod before he takes a seat. "I never meant to hurt you in any way."

"You could've just come to me in person and told me what a dirtbag he was," I retort softly.

"I tried," he says. At the same time Crue, from the doorway, remarks, "Not like you would've listened anyway, stubborn woman. He's not a problem anymore either. He'll be nursing some serious wounds for quite some time."

He and the others file into the room and find a place to stand as Giovanni chides, "I said give me ten minutes."

"No offense, boss, but you don't get to call the shots where Blythe is concerned anymore," Elliot replies, crossing his arms over his chest. "We're in this as much as you are. If you'll still have us after this."

The last is directed my way. Apparently, my emotions are flayed open and laid bare for everyone to see today since I start crying. I don't get why they'd waste time with me after what had to have been hell, but I'm going to grab that rope and hang on for dear life.

"Our only request," Kenji says, moving to my other side, "is that you take care of yourself so that we can treat you like the queen you are to us."

What girl could say no to that?

"I still can't believe this is our place?" Nick says, cuddling into my side where we're sitting on the brand-new gym mat with the others.

"No more late-night fights," Kenji says.

"No more running illegal shit," Elliot adds.

"No more taking orders from assholes," Deklyn remarks.

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