Page 27 of Love Starves

Faking annoyance, I beg her, "I don't ever get to throw baby showers and probably won't ever again. Let me have my fun, will you?"

Then a voice cuts across the room, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. "You should listen to her. Clemonte parties are always memorable."

The entire room swivels to face Giovanni and I'm no exception. Of course, the man stands there like he owns the place looking hotter than sin deserves to in one of his black suits. Once I can pull myself out of the lust-filled haze, I notice the tension floating in the air that has nothing to do with him being here for me. Somehow, one or more of these people know him. A very curious question, indeed, for later, but for now, I can't let him ruin Imma's shower. "Make yourselves at home, people, while I go toss out the garbage."

Giovanni's left eyebrow pulls up at my insult, but he doesn't retort and even allows me to take him by the elbow and drag him toward the front door. "What are you doing here?"

"I feel like the trash comment was mildly unnecessary," he says instead of answering the question.

"Someone in that room hates your fucking guts, apparently," I reply, crossing my arms tightly against my chest. "This is a private party, and you weren't invited. I'm not trying to be rude, but you've got to go."

Stepping into my space, he clenches my chin between his index finger and thumb, lifting it for easier access to drop a kiss on my lips. I'm so taken by surprise that it’s a few seconds before I respond and kiss him back. As far as first kisses go, it's perfect. His lips are full and attempt to swallow my own in just the right way. When our tongues touch and I'm gifted with a few strokes from him, I can't help but wonder why I cursed myself to live without this for so long.

All too soon, but maybe not soon enough, he pulls away and stares down at me with a softness in his expression that I'm not used to seeing. Then he steps away as he confesses, "Baby, I need to tell you something."

I let the pet name slide out of anxiety of whatever he's about to say. It can't be good by the way he's acting. Ripping the rug out from under my feet, he continues, "I think you should stop seeing Ryan."

My hands clench into fists and for the first time in my life, I'm seriously in danger of punching someone in the fucking face.

He shakes his head slightly, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to come off as a possessive asshole or anything. And this doesn't have anything to do with those stupid, fucking rules we made when we started this thing. I'm not trying to keep you all to myself. My men are still all yours. It's just him. He's not good for you, B, and we did some extensive research into him."

This man could be getting ready to tell me that I'm dying and only have a few hours to live, and I couldn't possibly hurt any more than I do now. I don't care what he thinks they may have found out about Ryan. It's my choice who I date and when. Not Giovanni's.

"You need to leave," I say, surprised my voice is so even considering the turmoil burning in my gut. He opens his mouth, and not giving a shit if anyone can hear me at this point, I shout, "I don't want to hear anymore. Get the hell out of my house, Giovanni, and don't come back!"

Rubbing the stubble on his jawline with one of those large, tanned hands, he appears to want to keep speaking, but luckily for us both, he does just as I ask. Taking several deep breaths to calm myself down. I run my hands down my dress to straighten imaginary wrinkles and even fluff the bottom of my hair. Things might be getting ready to fall to pieces in my world, but this day is for Imma. I'll be damned if I'm the one who ruins it.

Putting on my Clemonte public face, I manage to make it through the entire party without once letting the mask slip. Through little games and opening of all her gifts and even the big gender reveal we do out back near the pool, I keep my attitude in check. Seeing how happy Imma is with her men is a sharp stab in my chest, but I'm truly happy for them. By the time everyone's got everything packed up and are loading their cars, I think I'm just as exhausted mentally as Imma appears to be physically.

Anger is a heavy load that sits in my gut, making me want to act irrationally. If it hadn't been for the party, I might've don't something rash that I would've regretted later for sure. Now that I've had time to calm down, I can't say I'm still super pissed at Giovanni for butting into my business. Were the tables turned, I don't think I'd be able to watch them with another woman, so I can't say for sure that I wouldn't have reacted exactly the same. One thing's for certain, though, things need to move a little slower compared to what they are now. Not saying I believe Giovanni, but it's true that I don't know Ryan all that well. Hell, I don't really know my other guys as well as I should either. That's something that definitely needs correcting before any of this gets more complicated than it already is.

It's been over a month now, and things have changed dramatically. Not only did Imma look ready to pop at our last meeting, but then turned around and had the damn baby within like a week of it. Four weeks early, but they both seemed happy and healthy when the other book club girls and I went to visit in the hospital. I had to throw my name around a bit to get us all in there at once. Especially since all five of her baby daddies were already in there. Before the club, I would've drowned in the love that flooded the room that day. Since, though, I basked in it, all the while pushing those good vibes out into the universe that I might, one day, have at least half of what she has.

I've been seeing the guys in my life less than I was. Not out of revenge or trying to close myself off. I just spoke with them, and they agreed we all need to get to know each other better. Gives me hope for the future for this to blossom into more than just sex. Imma is living proof that I don't have to choose between them either, and that's a major added bonus. Now I just wish I could get everyone on the same page about Ryan. Between all the excitement with the baby, club meetings, doctor appointments, and the school semester coming to a close, I haven't had a chance to spend as much time with him as I'd like to, so I'm hoping that'll change once life starts to slow down.

Haven't heard from the Clemontes since they left either. Before, that would've hurt, even if I said it didn't. These days, not so much. I haven't given them much thought. As I'd applied the last bit of my makeup this morning, I'd thought about how I'd feel if they said that they just weren't coming back. That might sting somewhat, but not like they've been here much of my life anyway. It's more like a distant relative situation. Which has given me the courage to bring up a certain topic with Nick and Deklyn today as we meet for coffee.

"I've been thinking," I tell them, taking a sip of my latte and enjoying the sight of them in the afternoon sun. Nick looks debonair as always in slacks and a white dress shirt with the first few buttons left hanging open. He smiles, encouraging me to share my idea. Deklyn's blue eyes, always on alert from his time in the military—I've come to understand—focuses on me. I admire the way the wind gently plays with the loose material of his black v-neck shirt, occasionally giving the onlooker a glimpse at the muscles underneath. There's no help for the arms of that thing, though. His biceps have it stretched to the max. It reminds me of those strong arms holding me up against him in the movie theater last time we were together.

Putting a lid on the lust that spikes in me, I finally confess, "Once classes are over, I'm going to start looking for my own apartment."

"Hey, that's great," Nick says, taking my empty hand and clasping our fingers together.

"Where were you thinking about moving to?" Deklyn asks.

A blush creeps up my neck as I give them my answer, "I was honestly hoping I could find a place in Nick's building or somewhere closer. I kind of fell in love with the whole setup and light of the city when I was there."

Deklyn nods appreciatively, and Nick beams at me about the same time a girl on the sidewalk runs smack into the side of his chair. I want to snap at her and tell her to watch where she's going, but I don't since I'm just as guilty about being bedazzled by Nick’s smile. He pulls his hand free to set her right and makes sure she's okay before turning back to us.

"I'd be happy to check on empty spots in my building," Nick offers.

"That'd be great, thank you," I tell him gratefully. Starting with the good news, I'm hoping it'll soften the blow for what I'm about to drop on them now. I've actually got a tangle of nerves in my stomach that's making me feel like I might be sick. Glancing down at the table, I add, "Also, after classes end, I'm going to invite Ryan to my parent's place in Italy for a couple days. I've been wanting to go shopping and figured it'd offer a good chance to get to know him."

With my eyes downcast, it's easy to see Deklyn's stiffening posture to my left as Nick plays with the cup in his hand. The silence carries on, allowing the sounds of the city to fill the space between us before the former finally speaks up, "You're still seeing him?"

"Did I ever give the impression that I stopped?" I ask

"I guess you didn't and that's your decision to make," he replies quickly, bringing his cup to his lips.

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