Page 46 of Inmate 0976371

“He’s here…” she states, and my eyes widen as I smile with relief.I knew it! I knew it! I knew he would survive!

“Wh-where is he? Bring him here! P-please!” I stammer, wanting him more than anything.

“He’s coming now,” she answers as she looks out the door, but my excitement fades and I pause when I hear light steps… steps much lighter than Saw’s. I know his steps… I listened to them every night when he would walk outside to smoke. I memorized them and the rhythm of him getting up to go to the bathroom.

Those rushed steps could never be him… Saw walks with swagger and finesse as if I’m on his time, and I am… he would never rush to me like that because he knows no matter how long he takes, I’ll wait like a good girl.That. Is. Not. Him.

My theory is proven correct, and my heart sinks when my Saw doesn’t walk into the room, but my father… my biological one, at that… the man I have not seen or spoken to in the past five years… the last person I want to see.

“Robbie!” His eyes light up and I reel back in disgust when he tries to come near me.That nickname… I hate it…

I glare at him with pure hatred, having nothing to say to him… I pay him dust. He’s not the man I want to see…where the fuck is SAW?!

“SAW! WHERE IS HE?!” I ignore my sperm donor, and the nurses blink at me as if looking for something to say while more people run into the room, along with my other brothers, sisters, and my mother.

“Robin! What in the hell do you think you’re doing acting like this in these white people’s face?! Get your damn act together!” my mother shouts and I falter just slightly. I always listen to my mama. She’s always been there for me, but I can’t this time.

“Mama… where is Saw?! Tell them to bring me Saw!” I beg, and she frowns.

“What did that man do to you?” she questions. I cock my head to the side, confused at the sadness on her face.

“He freed me! He breathed life into me. He gave me everything!” I try to explain to wipe the look of sadness off her face, but it only turns more grief-stricken.

“Oh Lord!” She covers her mouth, falling into the arms of one of my brothers behind her, and I watch them all turn pitiable eyes on me. Judgmental eyes… eyes that Saw told me he would never give me if I let myself go.And he never did.

When I told him what I wanted, he relished it and gave it freely without judgment. He never asked me why or said I was wrong. He let me be the woman I’d always desired. But seeing them look at me with such sorrow…I hate it.

“S-SAW!” I tremble, not wanting to be here anymore, feeling like a whale confined in a pond big enough for guppies. I don’t want to be here anymore… I want to let go again… I want to feel that freedom again. I want to be consumed again and have him inside me where only he can reach… I don’t want to be here… I’ve shed this faux skin of normality and mediocrity.

“Robbie, put that knife down and come to your senses! You were not raised to be this way!” the man who was never there for me speaks.

“You didn’t raise me at all,” I sneer.Saw raised me…I miss him… I want him… I need him.

“WHERE IS SAW?!?!?!” I shout.

“Robin! CHILL THE HELL OUT!” my brother Vic yells behind my mother, who’s with the dramatics and looks to have seemingly passed out even though I know for a damn fact she’s just acting to draw the attention off me and onto herself…she always does that.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS SAW?!”

“They… uhm, I’m afraid we cannot let you see him.” Another nurse steps in and I take in his words, putting two and two together.They found him!

“I… why can’t you let me see him?” I cock my head to the side.They are trying to keep me from him!

“He’s… uhm… he’s…”

“HE’S WHAT?!” My heart pounds in my chest nervous, especially once a man who looks unfamiliar walks into the room. Our eyes lock before I see his eyes run over me with a look I’ve seen in Saw’s eyes more times than I can count.Desire…attraction.

“Who the fuck are you?” I scowl and he shifts on his feet.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry for the late introduction my name is Detective Wood and” he pauses…

“I’m sorry to say but he doesn’t want to see you,” he finishes, and I grow unsteady on my feet.No… that can’t be true…

“What? What do you mean he doesn’t want to s-see me?” My heart skips a beat and I nearly fall.

He looks away, clearing his throat, swallowing.

“Uhm… h-he’s refusing to see you. Th-that’s about the extent of what I can say, ma’am.” the male nurse stammers.

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