Page 57 of Inmate 0976371

If not for this, my precious little baby, I would have made my way to where Saw is…no, to where my Owner is…

I blink, and tears fall, shocking me, but I quickly wipe them, not wanting Shawn or my brother to see me cry. My baby has never seen me falter… not once, and he never will. I want to be strong for him, even if I feel weak and at my limit. He deserves a mother that will forgo all the bullshit in her life to make him happy, and that’s what I want to give him even if I’m running on fumes since my person… my one and only isn’t here to breathe life into me.

“Impossible? Really? Is that all you have to say? There’s a good man willing to take away your pain and help you raise Shawn, and you’re going to turn him down because of a nigga thatrapedyou?” he sneers in disgust and my heart pounds in my chest as pain claws at my stomach.

Honestly, I’m sick of this same ol’ tired ass conversation. I’ve been hearing it since I woke up. Saw this, that asshole that… yeah yeah yeah… I get it. Buttheydon’t. I was in control… Saw threatened me and did all those things to me, yes… but God…I loved it.Every moment his hands were on me felt like a blessing,and I can’t even afford to think about the way he fucked me. No man… and I mean absolutely no man, is capable of rendering me into nothingness like my Owner.

With a look, I wanted to drop to my knees, and a kiss on my neck sent my pussy dripping down my leg. How can anyone get over that feeling? That level of dominance and possession? Now I have to think of myself and be the strong Black woman as per fucking usual. I’m tired and I know getting with another nigga ain’t going to change that notion. He’s just going to tire me the fuck out in life and in the bedroom with his selfish ass.

“Marcus, just give up. I don’t want to see a man who will want to turn me into their mother. I already have a baby. I don’t need another one.” I’m done with these tired ass, what do you bring to the table ass niggas. Hell, Black, white, Asian… it don’t matter. They are all the same. That fifty-fifty shit is just not what I want. If I give my one hundred outside, I want to be zero in the bed. I want my nigga to take me like a monster and slake his lust on me in a giving way, but no guy knows what those words mean.Saw did.

They want me to give up on him, but I can’t. I still desire him. I still feel him… I still dream about him fucking me in that cabin.I still…

“Just meet him. Please.” Hearing the desperation in his tone makes my stomach drop and my heart ache… a little. I don’t want to, but…how can I not when Marcus is asking so sincerely?

“I….”

“Please!” He puts his hands together, pleading. “Fucking please, Robin. I want you to get better and get back to your old self. Just meet him… he’s a good man, and he’ll be good role model for Shawn,” he begs, and I swallow, feeling nauseous as I nod.

“I… uhm… if y-you think it’ll be g-good for Shawn, then I will,” I stammer, body trembling as I touch my belly where Saw tattooed his name.

They tried to get me to remove it. Some billionaire even offered to pay to have it removed after hearing my story, but I will never let it go. That’s another reason I know I could never date anyone else. What man would be okay with knowing their partner is owned wholly and completely by someone else?

“It will! YES!” he pumps his hand in the air as if he’s completed some amazing feat by coercing me to not renege on this. “You’re going to love him! He’s an amazing man and worthy of you.” He beams and my heart quakes disgusted at the thought.

“I’m sure he is.”But amazing men aren’t my type…

“As a matter of fact…” he goes around the counter, taking the cash I’d set down and placing it to the side before he grabs my purse, leaving Shawn’s diaper bag, then coming back around and handing it to me. “Take this, go home, and get yourself together.”

“Get myself together? What about Shawn? I can’t ju?—”

“I already told you that Cassidy and I will watch Shawn tonight. He can play with his baby cousin,” he beams, and that at least makes me happy because Shawn loves going over to their house. Marcus ended up rekindling his love with his baby mama and they got married not long before he and I opened the bakery.

I only invested in it because I had nothing better to do with all the money the state paid me after I sued for pain and suffering. I did that shit primarily because I was outraged they made Saw leave me.I know he’s not dead. He would never leave me.

Not only is my bank account bigger, but my child also has a trust fund paid for by the same fuckers that killed his father, and even after putting away one-third of the one hundred and twenty-five million dollars I was awarded, I still had plenty to do whatever I wanted to.

I might be down bad for my nigga but I’m not stupid. They must have thought I was when my family members tried to pull that conservator shit so they could take over caring for me and gain access to my money.

Hell, my whole family tried coming for it, but I protected it, invested it in places where I have gained huge profits, bought somewhere nice for Shawn and me, and even started a company with my baby as the model so he’s getting his own paycheck and will be good no matter what happens to me.

With all that happening, I don’t have time to be worried about anything else let alone my looks, which I still maintain.

“Thank you for watching him, but I need you to explain that getting yourself together part.”

“You can’t be serious,” he frowns, looking me up and down, shaking his head.

“Excuse you, but I am very serious. What’s wrong with how I look now?”

“All I want to say is… the old you would never,” I reel back, offended because I might be down bad on how much I miss Saw, but I still keep myself well-kempt.Saw loved that about me.

I wear my hair like he liked it in the cabin, in two puffballs with a zigzag part. When he allowed me to wear clothes, he loved when I would wear the dresses in the cabin, with no panties of course since he always demanded easy access unless we were outside.

“Baby sis, you look nice and all, but don’t you think it’s high time you retire those damn puff balls? That’s the only way you wear your hair now and has been for the last two years.

Go to the salon and get your hair straightened.”But Saw liked my hair like this.“Go get your nails done.”Saw said that was impractical.“Go buy some new makeup and a new dress that shows more.”Saw liked me natural and told me not to show what belongs to him unless I have expressed permission!

Those were… no, they ARE the rules, and I will not break them.Daddy’s word is law!

---