Page 98 of The Roads We Follow

“Guess that makes you the coolest granddaughter since you’re singing with me, baby girl.”

The whole bus seems to buzz with her joy, sans one, whose head is tipped against her window, eyes staring out but not seeing. I sensed Raegan was struggling last night, but when her reaction to my glowing review of her first three chapters at our coffee stop this morning was little more than mild indifference, I knew she was spiraling out. Regardless of the situation surrounding this memoir, what she’s written is a treasure. I have no doubt her mother will be honored by the words she’s penned. I know mine would have been. Her tone is respectful, honest, vulnerable, and completely captivating. It made me want more.Shemade me want more.

As soon as we’re all unloaded and standing outside Old Goldie behind the massive stage of the amphitheater, Adele wastes no time in securing her family manager hat. She spends the first five minutes reciting the order of events from whatever app she’s typed them on, and then she dictates every person’s roleinthose events. I can’t help but notice how often Raegan’s name is read, while Hattie’s name is mentioned only once. I have a feeling, given the way Adele eyes Raegan when she says it, that there’s been a side conversation in regard to the middle sister that has ended up on Raegan’s plate.When Adele finally turns to lead her parade across the lot to meet up with their first contact, I clasp Raegan’s arm and drag her around to Old Goldie’s shaded side.

“Micah,” Raegan hisses, which as far as I’m concerned is a huge step up from comatose. “What on earth are you—”

“I’m worried about you.”

She looks beyond me toward the bluffs as several runaway curls blow around her face in the ever-constant wind of the Gorge. They’ve fallen out of whatever twisty knot she’s secured on her head today, and I find the look completely irresistible. Then again, I find pretty much all of Raegan’s looks irresistible. “I’m fine.”

I stare harder.

“Okay, I’m not fine, but what does that matter? Either way, I have to figure out how to live with myself for the next two days and then who knows how much longer after that.”

At the sound of her rapid breathing, I gentle my voice and demonstrate what I need her to stop and do. “Take a breath, Raegan.”

“I don’t have time to take a breath,” she snaps. “Did you not hear Adele’s list of to-dos for me?This, right here, is my actual life. The road trip has been a dream, a piece of fiction in which I get to borrow the life I always wanted under false pretenses. But at least for now, I’m back on duty.”

And something about the way she says it pricks an awareness in me that wasn’t there until now. “You hate this.”

Even through the thin armor she’s put up, I see her flinch at my words. “This is my job.”

“No, this is yourfamily. Those are two separate entities.”

“Well, very soon I may not have either one.” The uncertainty in her voice melds to something on the verge of hysterics, and soon her words are rushing out in one long stream of consciousness. “Adele will never forgive me when I tell her the truth, Micah. How could I have been so stupid to have convinced myself that I could take this on alone? You were right, I should have come out with it right away and not—”

“Stop.” I push in close, until her back is touching the wall of the bus and my palms are on either side of her head. I need her to see me. “Look at me, Raegan. Look at me.” She’s trembling all over now, and I wish we were inside this bus and not exposed to the world, but I do my best to shield her with my body from anyone milling about this part of the grounds. “You love your family—through all their quirks and faults and idiosyncrasies, you love them. I see that in you as clearly as I see the amber flecks in your green eyes right now. I don’t know how they’ll respond when you tell them the truth, and it would be reckless of me to speculate, but I do know that you would do anything to keep your family from harm. I’ve had a front-row seat to that since the day we met.” Her body stills, and I bend to speak directly in her ear. “But what I don’t see ... is you accepting the same gift of compassion for yourself that you offer everyone else.”

The way she presses her lips together as if to fight off a sob undoes me, and I’m seconds away from demanding she let me take her place as Adele’s lackey when Adele herself rounds the bumper of the bus.

“There you—oh.”

I barely register the sleeve of Adele’s linen blazer before I’ve flattened my body against Raegan’s and pressed my mouth to hers, blocking her current state from her older sister’s view. There’s not a doubt in my mind which scenario Raegan would rather be caught in.

Adele clears her throat, and I push off the bus and straighten as if just realizing we have company, which gives Raegan the opportunity she needs to turn and wipe any remaining tears from her cheeks.

When I don’t offer the oldest Farrow sister an apology for what she interrupted, it seems to throw her off balance for a minute.

“I’m pretty sure we discussed this last night, Raegan.” Adele speaks to her sister’s back. “Please fill Micah in.”

Raegan rotates, but before she can verbalize a response, I get to it first. “Fill me in on what?”

Adele looks more than a little uncomfortable, and I’m more than okay with that. “It would be best if you two didn’t show any displaysof affection this weekend, given the interesting dynamics of your personal histories. There are too many eyes and ears around. We don’t need any misunderstandings.”

I look between the two sisters and then loop my arm around Raegan’s waist. She doesn’t hesitate to lean in to me. “No worries, there are no misunderstandings here.”

I know I’m ruffling feathers, but the idea that Adele thinks she has this much power over her sister’s love life is ludicrous.

“Unfortunately, Micah, that’s not the way it works in our world,” she replies curtly, to which I’m about to remind her that I’m notinher world and that maybe her sister shouldn’t be either if she’s going to continue to treat her like a glorified errand runner. But before I can start, she tosses each of us a neon-green rubber bracelet. We break apart to catch them.

“Those are your VIP access passes for your seats and backstage. They also allow you back to the private lot and into the artists’ tent. Security won’t let you through without it, so don’t take them off.”

Raegan, the peacekeeper, slips hers on and twists to face me. “How about I text you and we can meet up later?”

I study her for a moment, noting the rosy color in her cheeks has returned, as well as her steadied breaths and focused gaze. I acquiesce with a reluctant nod. “Sounds good.”

When the two are several paces away, I call out to them and ask Adele if she can give us just one more minute since I have a feeling time with Raegan will be scarce until the festival starts tomorrow.

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