Page 34 of Play Maker

Facing off with Axel in the pub was harder than facing off with any opponent on the ice.

But I'd done what I came here to do. I'd taken my shot and told him the truth, whether he wanted to believe me or not. Like I told him, it wasn't my problem. It didn't surprise me that Preston had lied to him and was lying still. And if Axel wanted to hold onto those lies, then there was nothing I could do.

Not a goddamn thing.

And, naturally, the rest of the night was awkward as fuck.

Axel kept staring at me as we ate silently. Like he was worried I was going to run off to the bathroom as soon as we were done. And this was the reason why I rarely told people that I had an eating disorder. As soon as they knew, they were watching, waiting, and worrying. That didn't help things at all. Talking about my bulimia was supposed to be good for my mental health but I was starting to wonder. Then again, what did I expect with Axel? It’s not like I was talking to Dane or Kayden or someone who was my friend. This guy hated me.

Axel didn't respect me, and honestly, after that conversation with him, I didn't respect him. On the other hand, I knew that ifsomeone had just told me that one of my friends was lying to me, I wouldn’t believe them either.

What else could I do? Nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

Somehow, someway, we managed to finish eating and then we went through the checklist of tasks for the fundraiser. Distraction was a color-coded spreadsheet and thank God. We agreed on one thing at least; I’d deal with communications with the league contact and Axel would catalog the donations.

For a first-class asshole, he was surprisingly well-organized.

An hour later, I headed out. I didn’t want to go back to my room and ruminate about Axel or everything I’d admitted to him, so I texted Dane and hung out with him and Jackson in their room. We played video games, and I won all of them, having so much nervous energy to dispel.

Dane gave me questioning looks but I ignored them.

Like Axel, I just couldn’t deal with it in the moment.

I’d almost told Dane everything I’d said to Axel, but I held back. I wasn’t sure why. Spilling my guts to my rival? Sure. But my friend? Nope. I guess I was feeling kind of raw. Dane knew, or rather, I’d told him about Preston and that last year of high school, but I didn’t go into a lot of detail about the eating disorder. Dane knew about it, but he didn’t press me. And I didn’t blurt out everything like I did in that pub tonight. God, I wanted to erase that conversation with Axel from my brain forever. Then again, there was a kind of relief with putting it all out there.

The next day was our usual Tuesday practice.

Usual? Not quite.

Knowing that I was going to see Axel again had me so nervous I was all but shaking in my skates. I'd arrived extra early so I wouldn't run into him, and when Dane spotted me pacing the locker room, he pulled me aside.

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been jittery since last night.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Jace.”

“You know I had to meet up with Axel, what do you think?” I asked, lowering my voice and leaning in. “I did something stupid. I told Axel about my bulimia. And about Preston.”

“Oh shit. What did he say?”

I didn’t reply, reliving the conversation in my head.

“Jace?”

“I shocked myself, and him,” I finally whispered. “It all came out. All of it. But it didn’t change anything.”

“He didn’t believe you?” Dane asked.

I shook my head and bit my lower lip.

“Nope. He was pissed. He thinks I'm the one who's a liar. That I treated Preston like shit.”

Dane’s face darkened. It was rare to see him get upset. Not our calm, cool captain.

“Don’t get in the middle, D,” I warned him. “It’s not worth it.”

“Now I'm really worried.”

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