Page 50 of Play Maker

Two days after that kiss and I was still walking around in a daze; horny, frustrated, and just plain confused. No matter what I was doing—working out in the gym, taking notes in class, studying in the library—my attention inevitably strayed back to that night at Ethan's. I couldn'tstopthinking about that kiss. I couldn't forget how Jace tasted, how he smelled, the sounds he made when he came.

All because of a stupid game. A prank gone wrong.

The joke was completely on me. The way Jace wrecked my mouth, and my control? It was, without a doubt, bar none, the hottest sex I’d ever had. Fuck, I’d been drinking but apparently not enough, because every second of that night was clear in my mind, replaying over and over until it became an obsession. I’d jacked off to the memory of it so many times over the past forty-eight hours that I had new calluses on my hands and sheets that required twice daily washing. It even distracted me from the reality that I was going to face off against Langston, my former team.

I needed another taste of Jace, and feverishly wondered if he felt the same. Or was he out with someone else? Hailey? The thought of him kissing her, even worse, fucking her, had my blood boiling. I’d never been one to let my cock make decisions, but he was all I could think about, and I didn’t want to share.

What the hell is wrong with you?

A lot. A lot was wrong with me. Fucking around with my teammate for one. I remembered my initial reaction to seeing Kayden and Maddox together.

I’m such a hypocrite.

And what would Preston say if he found out? Then again, did I care what Preston thought? He and Jace weren’t together, and they hadn’t been for two years. And if Preston lied to me, like Jace said he did, what did his opinion matter?

I was so confused that I didn't know what to believe anymore. I texted Preston but I didn’t get any more clarity.

Axel: You need to tell me the truth about you and Jace.

It took Preston hours to respond and the longer I waited, the more my stomach churned.

Preston: You know the truth.

Axel: Do I?

Preston: Of course. He treated me like shit. What more do you want?

Axel: Apparently you left some things out. You cheated on him? Gave him an STD?

Preston: Is that what he said? And why the fuck do you believe him?

Axel: I didn’t say that I did, because I can’t imagine that you’d lie to me. But I don’t think you’re telling me the whole truth, either.

Preston: This is so fucked up.

Axel: Jace gave me a lot of details about your relationship. I’m not sure that anyone’s that good a liar.

Preston: And you’re the best judge of character?

Axel: I have enough experience, remember?

Preston: Bestie, come on. Think about it. Are you seriously questioning reality? You sound as paranoid as Jace. Jesus, you know me.

I thought I did. And reality? The only thing that was real to me was that kiss with Jace.

Axel: I’ve got a game to get to. Call me later so we can talk.

I reread the texts and my doubts about Preston intensified.

I put my phone away and my mind wandered back to Jace. I didn't care if kissing him was wrong or the worst decision I’ve ever made. I wanted to do it again. I wanted it more than anything else. Which was strange because the only thing in mylife that I was obsessed with was hockey. Everything else came second. And to be honest, everything else wasn’t much. I didn’t have healthy relationships with my family, I was suspicious of other people’s motives because I figured they wanted to use me to get to my family, and I didn’t have close friends outside of Preston.

I didn’t have much of anything in my lifeexcepthockey.

But things were shifting, something was changing.

I was getting to know my teammates here at Sutton. And I liked them. Real friendships were within reach. And I was starting to see Jace in a way I never imagined and my sexuality too. I didn’t know how to deal with it, or him, but there it was.

Transferring colleges wasn’t just changing schools. It was changing me.

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