Page 35 of Play Maker

I bit my lower lip. “I can separate hockey from Axel. On the ice it's a different thing. I promise.”

“You say that, but I know you. And I'm worried for you. As my friend.”

“I appreciate that. But there's nothing to be worried about. I said what I had to say to him and that's it. In a way, I feel better. He knows the truth. If he doesn't want to accept it, like I told him last night, that's his problem. Besides, that's the past. I’m focused on the present.”

“And that's why you're pacing up and down the locker room like you're about to jump out of your gear?” he said with a raised eyebrow.

“Can you blame me? I have no idea how he’s going to act. Or how I’m going to react tohim.”

“Maybe you need to talk to Coach?”

I considered that and nodded. “Let’s see how today goes.”

I didn't want to go to Banning. At this point, I was old enough to figure my shit out. And I didn’t need this drama. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated? So much for telling the truth. It didn't get me anything in this case. Maybe it would’ve been better if I had just left things alone and continued to let Axel believe the worst of me. Only, I had a bad feeling that by unleashing all that stuff on him, especially the reality about Preston, worse was just the start.

“Jace?” Dane asked, staring at me with concern.

“Sorry,” I replied quickly. “I’m fine. Seriously.”

My friend’s gaze told me he didn’t buy it, but thankfully, he left it at that.

“If you’re not, tell me.”

I nodded and patted his arm gratefully.

“Let’s hit the ice.”

Dane guided me out of the locker room, and we passed several teammates heading in. Still no sign of Axel, which was a total relief. Jesus, this guy was taking up way too much of my headspace lately. I was surprised I could remember to skate and shoot the puck at the same freaking time.

Dane and I headed down the narrow hallway, and I was hit with the familiar wave of ammonia and sweat that lingered in the air. The atmosphere of the rink quelled some of my anxiety. I slid onto the fresh ice, a perfect plane of milky glass, and sighed with pleasure. It was weird but I always loved being the first one to break it in.

This was where I belonged.

When I was growing up, it was just me, my battered skates, and my faraway hockey dreams. Not so far off now. If I couldkeep my shit together and find a way to deal with Axel. I’d had to work with players I didn’t like at every level, but nothing like him.

Focus on your own game. The rest will fall into place.

I was getting so good at bullshitting myself.

The buzz of fluorescent lights and the echo of our blades scraping the ice cut through my rumination. Then I noticed Coach Banning hovering by the boards, his tablet in hand, furiously writing notes with his stylus. When he glanced up and spotted us, he nodded quickly and went back to writing. The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint him, or the team. Despite being in my favorite place, a heaviness sat on my chest, the weight of expectations. What if I screwed this up? What if…

Dane nudged me with his stick.

“As your captain, I’m ordering you to get to work,” Dane quipped, and I flipped him off even though I was grateful for the distraction of his teasing.

We warmed up, and then started drills while we waited for the rest of the guys. It was a good ten minutes before our teammates joined us, and by then, I was feeling much more relaxed. Ready to face Coachandthe most annoying forward I’d ever played with.

Or, maybe not.

I didn’t need to look around to know that Axel had arrived. For some crazy reason, I was now hyper aware of him, like I’d developed ‘asshole radar’ or something. For sure I recognized the sound of his gait, a skating style that was heavy on the push off and long on the glide. Despite his bulk, his movement was so smooth it was almost silent, like you’d hardly know he was there until he was right up in your face. Like that night on the ice, just the two of us, grappling in this same spot.

I flushed hot but I reasoned it was just the warm-up and shook it off.

There was no way I could avoid him, and I never let anyone intimidate me. I glanced up and watched him head in my direction. His moves were mesmerizing. I was a faster skater, but Axel prowled like our cougar namesake; powerful and ready to strike. Usually, I was the one who did the stalking on the ice, but suddenly, it felt like the tables had turned. When he stopped short, I stared into his midnight blues. Every hair on my body stood on end, my pulse beating frantically.

Whatever I was feeling, it wasn’t just anger.

Oh yes, things were about to get much, much worse.

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