Page 110 of The Cute Psycho

Even during the weekend, she'd been very terse in her replies, and while that had been worrying, I'd bet everything on this dinner and on wooing her with my marvelous planning.

What the fuck...

I'm already restless as I imagine countless scenarios coming to play as I confront her, the worst being her saying she never wants to see me again, or that she thinks I'm too much for her.

Fuck... What if she thinks she can do much better?

I mean, technically she can, but that doesn't mean I'm about to let her do that.

As I'm walking—okay more like sprinting—toward the house, I can't help the way my brain is pushing forward the worst possible scenarios.

Whatever may be the case, I will ask for her forgiveness, and then we'll be able to move on. Surely, she can't be that upset at me, right?

Even as I scale the walls to her room, I'm still plagued by visions of her saying she hates me now, and I realize that I should probably ban the word hate from her vocabulary, just to be safe in the future.

Propping the window open, I push myself inside, about to call her name when I realize the room is empty.

Her phone is thrown in the middle of the bed, but there is no sign of her.

And as I watch the play of shadows on the wall, I realize that for the first time, I feel truly and utterly lost.

What if she decided that I'm not worthy after all?

25

SISI

Iroll over in bed, and for the second day in a row, I can't fall asleep. I sigh in frustration.

It's all because of him.

Even now, when I remember his words—that he feels nothing—a deep chasm forms in my heart, and I have to stop myself from sobbing out loud. I'd already done that enough.

How am I supposed to continue being with him knowing that my own feelings for him deepen every day? It's a recipe for heartbreak, no matter how I look at it.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I have to detach myself somehow. Especially since we've seen each other almost every day for a while now. How can I stop myself from falling for someone who treats me like a princess? Who respects me and showers me with attention, always showing me that Imatter?

How can anyone resistthat?

Barring his murderous side and his lack of emotions, Vlad is pretty perfect.

As someone who's never been made to feel important, he certainly made me feel like I was theonlyone for him. And I'd hopelessly fallen down the rabbit hole knowing that he wasonlymine, too.

But he isn't. Not really. Because he can never be. How can he truly be mine when he cannot offer me the one thing I want the most?

I'd rationalized everything. Lord, I'd thought about him day and night, trying to come to terms with my emotions and what is to be done to protect my heart. I've had enough people snubbing me in the past, and Ineverwant to see him do that.

It would break me.

And yet knowing he can never give me what I most desire, why is it that I can't let go? He's on my mind twenty-four-seven. Logically, I know I should stay away, but I can't help myself when my thoughts stray to him... to his scars and his bad attacks. How can I leave him alone when I know there's no one there to care for him? To help him through his crises? To show him that he matters too?

It seems that for the first time, my mind is at war with my heart.

I go through the motions the rest of the day. Funny how I thought I'd get some sleep these days, but my restless thoughts simply won't let me.

I miss him...

Shaking myself, I focus on the current conversation with Claudia.

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