Page 126 of The Cute Psycho

There's a gaping hole in Vanya's chest, her heart missing as blood keeps gushing out.

"Help me," she whispers, her eye dangling in its socket. "Help..."

I take a step back, all the while shaking my head.

It's not real. It's never real.

My back hits the wall and I fall down. Vanya's form keeps on approaching, even more blood pooling at her feet.

"Help me, brother. Don't let me die," she keeps muttering, her voice a haunting melody that sounds like a screech in my ears.

I shut my eyes, counting to ten, imagining the soft sound of a pendulum as it calms my mind. I do it until there's no more sound.

Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes to come face to face with Vanya. She's right in front of me, her features distorted, her flesh rotten.

"You failed me," she whispers, the iris of the dangling eye moving as she gazes around. "You failed me," she continues to say until she starts yelling in my ear.

"No..." I whisper, "I didn't."

But she doesn't stop. The sound is deafening as I feel myself slipping. Without even thinking, I fish my phone from my pocket, quickly callingher.

"Vlad?"she answers on the first ring, and I breathe out, relieved."Are you there?"she asks, her voice the cure I needed.

I watch in awe as Vanya's receding form becomes smaller and smaller until she disappears, as if in thin air.

Hell, if I were more superstitious I'd say she's a ghost and Sisi's holiness is driving her away.

As it stands, I'm well aware that the disease is in my brain. My mind is the one infected with whatever's been plaguing me.

"Sisi," I breathe out, my body trembling with unreleased tension.

"How come you called? I wasn't expecting you until midnight,"she says and I soak in her voice, closing my eyes and imagining she's next to me.

"Can't I miss you?" I ask in an amused tone, not wanting to betray the state I'm in.

She might knowsomeof my secrets, but she's not prepared for all of them.

"Are you bored? Is that why you're calling?"

"Sisiiii," I groan.

"I'll see you tonight,"she tells me in a soft voice,"I miss you too, but I have to go."

She hangs up.

I hold the phone to my ear just a little longer, wishing I could put her voice on a loop. The demons are coming again, and this time they won't settle for anything less than my sanity.

The appointment with the psychiatrist set, I don't tell Sisi about my intentions, not wanting to give her any hope where there is none.

Over the years I'd gone to different specialists, and I'd allowed them to probe and prod until it had gotten to a point where I hadn't cared anymore. I'd been reconciled with my rather fast-approaching mortality, and I was fine with it.

Sure, I regretted the knowledge I would never manage to acquire, the experiments I'd never run, and simply the world I wasn't going to experience. But it had been pretty simple to convince myself that with my already muted senses, there wasn't really any joy in it anyway. Interesting was the most feeling I could muster, but even that was an overestimation.

But more than anything, I knew that no one would miss me. MaybeBianca would put an epitaph on my tombstone, but she's not any more capable of deeper emotion than I am.

In the end, no one would mourn.

Promptly forgotten.

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