Page 59 of Six Days in Bombay

I turned to her and rested my weight against the counter.

“What Pavel says is true. My grandfather won’t be the only one buying my paintings anymore. With Mira’s death, they will sell easily. And I’ll have plenty of my own money, separate from my father. Do you think I should sell them?”

She sounded like a child asking if she could have another ice cream. I didn’t know what to tell her. I shrugged and tried my most sympathetic smile.

“Well, at least I’ll keep this one.The Waiting. It’s beautiful.”

We were quiet for some time.

She finally said, “Mira and I hadn’t talked since her last visit to Prague. I’m pretty sure she and Paolo stayed in touch though. Talk to him. He’ll know more.”

“I’m hoping he might. I’ll see him in Florence.” I paused. “Would you have an address for him?”

She shook her head and said in a small voice. “We’re not friends.”

I took Mira’s note from her and put it in my waist belt.

Petra hiccupped. I gave her another glass of water. She took a large gulp. Her large eyes, so naked with feeling, studied me. “I hope you find peace, Miss Falstaff.”

It startled me. A sentiment like that coming from a woman I’d dismissed as a child. Was I seeking peace? I thought I was searching for Mira’s sake. Was Petra implying I was searching for mine? Maybe there was more to Petra than I’d given her credit for.

I picked up my trunk. It was time for me to leave for Paris.

PARIS

Chapter 10

I was lonely. The visit to Petra’s had left me depressed, and I’d come away a little less enchanted with Mira. I missed my mother, who would have made hersuji ka halwaand recited a lovely Tagore poem to soothe me. I missed Amit. I resisted the urge to ask Dr. Stoddard about him. I was sure he would guess how I felt about Amit, and I wanted to keep those feelings to myself. I missed the old doctor, too. And Edward. It made me smile every time I thought of our dance in the Grand Bazaar. I found myself wanting to be with someone to whom I mattered. I also missed India; I longed for the familiarity of her aromas, her heartbeat, her people.

After disembarking at the Gare de l’Est in Paris, I headed to thehôtel particulierwhere a brass plate informed me that I was at Her Britannic Majestic Embassy. Edward Stoddard’s advice to go to the British Embassy in every city I visited had been helpful so far. Where the one in Prague had been impressive, the one in Paris was dazzling. Like a palace from a fairy tale. Crystal chandeliers. Walls lined with tall mirrors and gilded columns. Under my feet, a plush carpet patterned in crimson and gold. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows on the back wall, my eye was drawn to a green lawn, exquisitely manicured.

When I announced myself to the receptionist, he handed mean embossed envelope. It was addressed to me in Dr. Stoddard’s cramped handwriting. I’d never been so happy to receive a letter in my life.

My dear girl,

I’m delighted you made the most of your visit to Prague. Hope you’re unraveling the mystery of that most mysterious painter. No need to be under any obligation to us. Edward only did what he would ordinarily do. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

Now, I have a matter to posit to you.

It’s understandable that you may not wish to visit your father, but if you leave this life without having said your piece to him, you will not be at peace yourself. I know he hurt you and your mother, but don’t let him hurt you anymore.

I’ve been wanting to tell you something ever since I met you. Not even Edward knows of it. But it might help you understand something about your father.

I left afianc’eebehind in England when I came to India. I had every intention of sending for her and marrying her after I’d got myself settled in Bombay. But then I met Deva. Never known anyone like her. She had an inner calm that I found soothing. I’d been feeling so low about losing my patient back in England because of my carelessness. Mistakes are made, but I never thought I’d be the one to make one. The man who died in my care was myfianc’ee’sbrother. She was heartbroken. I couldn’t forgive myself. I had to get as far away as possible to escape my feelings of failure. I had hurt her. She’d forgiven me, never blamed me for her brother’s death. Never changed her mind about marrying me. But I wanted to outrun my guilt. So I came to India. And fell in love with Deva. Did I do it to keepfrom returning to England, the scene of my colossal failing? Or did I want to start a life with an extraordinary woman?

I married Deva. We were happy together. Edward is the result of that union and the most magnificent accomplishment of my life. When he was eight, Deva was killed by a streetcar.

People looked at Deva and me in the way they probably looked at your father and mother. As if we’d broken some law. We were an abomination in their eyes. It didn’t used to be that way. There was a time when the British government encouraged marriages like ours—like your mother and father’s—to create liaisons and ease tensions between themselves and Indians. But the ill will could never be eased, not as long as the British were in power. Mixed marriages were the casualties.

There was such a cloud of disapproval around us that Deva and I didn’t often mix. There were others like us, but no one wanted to be part of a club of outcasts. When I first met you, I knew you were one of us. And you confirmed it.

I thought often about how callous I’d been toward myfianc’ee, breaking off our engagement in a letter. Too much of a coward to see her in person. I never went back to England. My family weren’t keen on connecting with me. Hers either. They were all ashamed of me. I was ashamed of myself too. I’d run from England. Then I’d run from my obligation to Elizabeth.

All this to say, my biggest regret in life is to never have faced Elizabeth and apologized to her for my callousness. I can’t help but feel that your father wants—needs—to tell you that as well, that he’s sorry for his desertion. And if the mountain won’t come to Mohammed… Promise me you’ll think about it.

All my love and admiration,

Ralph Stoddard

---