Page 114 of Intercept My Heart

“I think it would be a great idea. You aren’t getting any younger,” Tootie pointed out. The two of them continued to talk amongst themselves while I took a moment to check on Sunny. She replied back that she was headed home to take a nap on her lunch break. I checked the cameras at both houses to make sure everything was in order. This week would be hectic with the baby shower, along with us moving into the new house. I made sure to hire a moving team to handle all the tedious work I had no desire to do. My gut told me Sunny wouldn’t be comfortable with strangers packing up her house, so Dreis agreed to help me with her things this weekend.

I planned to have a talk with her tonight so I could lay everything out on the table. I’d made my intentions clear, but now it was time to put some action behind it.

“I’m going to get out of your way so the two of you can talk. I’ll be in touch within two days, Money. Please take what I said into consideration. If you need me to train my grandsons myself, I will.”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I’ve got it. I appreciate all of your help. If anything comes up on my end, I’ll be sure to let you know.” He walked over to hug me before his attention went back to Tootie.

“I’ll be back tonight. Since you’ve been cleared to eat solids, I’ll sneak you in some real food later on,” he promised, kissingher on the forehead. For some reason, they reminded me of Sunny and me. Even through all they’d been through, the love between them was undeniable.

“Take care of her while I’m gone.”

“I will.”

“He means well.”

“You seem to be his biggest cheerleader,” I replied, taking the seat Uncle Ro occupied.

“I’m well versed in all things Roman. He can be a very complicated man, but when he loves you, his loyalty runs deep.” I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my uncle.

“Do you regret it?”

“Yes and no. When Roman and his family first suggested I give you up, I shut it down. You were mine. The one person in the world who wanted me around.” She spoke in a soft voice which I assumed was due to her being intubated for more than a week.

“The day you were born, I made a promise that I would give you a great life. In my mind, I would right all of the wrongs my parents made with me. In an instant, everything changed. I thought I could handle it, but I failed. The pills became a crutch for me. There were times when I would sit in the room high out of my mind while you screamed to the top of your lungs. It crushed my soul because I was supposed to be better than her.” Tears cascaded down the side of her face.

“You were everything I could ever want in a child. When I looked into your sweet face, I wondered how God could create something so perfect in such an imperfect world. You were my angel. There were times when I would sit and watch your chest rise and fall for hours. I prayed that you wouldn’t grow up to hate me because I wasn’t worthy to be blessed with a gift as great as you.

“When we came to an agreement, they offered to allow me as much access to you as I wanted. I took advantage every chance I could, even if it were just a moment to sniff your neck or sing to you. Your mom made sure to update me on every single milestone, and I would document it in my scrapbook. When I went to rehab, your pics were taped to my walls to remind me that someone out there needed me to push through. I fucked up so badly.” She wiped her face with her hands.

“When I came home from the last stint in rehab, you were four years old. I wanted you back with me, but everyone feared I would relapse again. It motivated me to prove them wrong, but by that time, you were already calling them mom and dad. Every time I heard the words, it felt like a dagger to the heart. It was nobody’s fault but mine, though. I decided being in your life in any capacity would be better than no longer having access to you at all.

“You were always wanted, Dinero. Always. You were my reason. Every time you accomplished something great, I would thank the Most High for blessing the world with your light. Whenever you would hug me and tell me you loved me, I would melt into pieces. I did the right thing, baby. Maybe I should have told you when you got older. I certainly could have handled the situation better. However, your parents provided you with love and stability. I never experienced either of those as a child, so in my mind, you were already better off.

“Regardless of the mistakes I made, you were wanted. You were loved, Dinero. I prayed for you every single day. I saved every memory God allowed me to have with you because you were the best thing I’ve done in life. You are a star. You are a blessing. You’re my blessing.” Her hand reached out for mine, and I obliged.

As I reflected over all the moments that were important in my life, Tootie was present in all of them. Even after Sunny left,Tootie came to check on me. She prayed over me while I was drunk and broken.

She had flaws like everyone else, but she was there through it all. Forgiveness had been a struggle for me, but life taught me that every situation couldn’t be handled the same way. Anger and resentment would only hinder me, and I wanted more for myself and my children. It was time for me to put the past behind me so I could become the man my family needed me to be. Hell, I’d made my own mistakes that required the forgiveness of others. Who was I to deny the same to the people who loved me?

“I love you, Tootie.”

“I love you more.”

“I don’t thinkI can do this anymore.”

“What do you mean, you don’t think you can do it anymore? We’re almost at the fucking finish line.” I stared at Porschea in disbelief as she stood in front of me, twiddling her thumbs.

“You don’t understand because you’re not the one taking all the risks. My cousin has been missing for days, and we’re all worried. The last time I spoke to her, she took your car to the auto shop to scrap the parts. She hasn’t been seen since then, and no one is talking.”

“Okay, maybe she decided to lay low for a little while.”

“She would’ve let someone know. We tried to trace her phone, but we got no results. It isn’t like her to disappear without telling anyone where she is. Her kids haven’t heard from her, and neither has her boyfriend. I feel like shit because I’m the reason why she was involved in the first place.”

“Oh, come on. You are being ridiculous. Nobody even knows we were involved. I’m sure your cousin just needed to get away for a few days, and she’ll turn up when she’s ready. You are worrying yourself for no reason,” I assured her, hoping that I was right.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about. You are selfish, and the only person you care about is you. I’ve already taken enoughrisks for you, and I don’t feel comfortable doing anything else. If you want to get at that girl, then you need to do it yourself.”

“Do you hear yourself? You’re really going to abandon me after everything that we’ve been through?” Naturally, I laid it on thick because I needed her to think that I cared about her. The truth was that she was simply a means to an end for me. Although I enjoyed her and the things that she could do with her tongue, the fact was that Money was the man I wanted, and nobody was gonna get in the way of me having him.

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