Page 133 of Pretty Obsessed

"This feels…" Iris laughed and shook his head. "Fishy."

"Do you think?" I asked, not sure if I should use this time to break the news to him.

"I can't decide if it's just because I don't trust Alexander and Cas, or if it's my gut trying to tell me something." He shook his head and lit a cigarette.

"I've been feeling that. Cas talked to me when we broke for dinner, and I couldn't help but take every single thing he said like it was a trap."

Iris missed a step and nearly face-planted. He stood there staring at me. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"Sounded that way."

"Tell me." He took another long drag before putting it out. "It's better if I know."

“Like we suspected, he wants you in rehab. He thinks you have a problem and it took everything I had not to tell him off about indulging you for years, only to suddenly decide you have a problem."

"He can't control me anymore, and that's what he's mad about." Iris began walking again and I followed, choosing my words carefully.

"It was a clear bid to get me on his side. He was trying to see if I was sympathetic to his words. I stayed neutral, wanting him to say as much as possible. I think he assumes if he can convince me, I'll bring Alister, then he has everyone against you. I wouldn't be shocked if he tries to do that until he thinks he can do what he wants."

He nodded slowly and I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't be mad at me.

"Smart on his part and yours. But there is something you're not telling me."

"He didn't say any of this. I'm just assuming."

"Your opinion on this is important. It makes me feel less crazy, like I'm not the only one looking over my shoulder."

"You're not crazy. They have something going on."

He put a hand over his eyes. "It's nice to hear you say that. For months I've felt alone in this. Alexander kept telling me I was seeing things. Gaslighting me. He's had to be in on this with Cas the whole time."

"I don't know if Alexander knows everything or if he is going along with it because of what Cas is saying, or maybe it's him and not Cas." I hated to vilify either of them without really knowing who was the force behind all of this.

"I don't know. Six months ago, I would have told you Cas didn't have a bone in his body that would hurt me or anyone else. Now I don't know what to think." He played with the cigarette case, spinning it over and over between his thumb and first finger. "Tell me what you think."

Telling him had the effect I thought it would. He was pissed, and rightfully so. He didn't know if he'd finish the single or anything else. We packed in silence. There was an edge to everything he did. Like it all sat on a razor's edge.

"When are you going to see him?" he asked.

I looked up from what I was doing. "Emory?"

"Yeah," he pulled on a leather jacket I'd never seen before.

"I'm going to have to make something work. I can't leave it like this for weeks. It's just going to reaffirm his belief we'll go too long without seeing one another.

"You're right."

We walked out on the tarmac sometime after midnight, my heart heavy. Our schedule looked terrible. If we were in the U.S., maybe I'd have time to fit in a trip but trying to make a fifteen-hour flight work with time changes and enough time to see him appeared impossible, even if I didn't account for jet lag.

"I can't do this," I announced to the silence. I didn't wait for any reaction I turned around with only my backpack.

"Where are you going? We have interviews and a show in a few days," Cas said.

"I'll meet you there," I called behind me.

"What?" Alexander had his hands in the air, a classic sign he was about to lose it.

"I'll be there for the show. I promise." I kept walking. If I stopped, I'd let them convince me to go. I couldn't leave it like this. I couldn't go weeks with things the way they were. I had to figure out where he'd gone and how to get there.

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