Page 47 of Pretty Obsessed

I got red and nodded.

“I was miserable when I woke up alone.” He was so steady, but there was emotion in his eyes. I didn’t like doubting where my brain was going, but then again, I tended to spiral off on a tangent and lose logic sometimes. “I couldn’t go on tour and not know where this would go. I couldn’t contact you so I had to come find you.” The amount of effort he’d put in made it impossible not to believe him, but I was still shocked.

“But you’re you.” I got off his lap. I needed space. Like putting any distance between us could stop the attraction I felt.

“And arguably you’re you.”

I gave him a flat look while pacing. “I’m not as famous as you are.” I had to get this out and articulate it to him. “You can have anyone you want.”

“I explained to you how I am. There are very few people I’m comfortable with.” He chose his words carefully. Too guarded. I didn’t like it. “I don’t think there is equivalency. We are both at a high level in our chosen profession and we worked hard to get there. I see no difference.”

I pulled at my hair with both hands. “Of course you don’t. Very convenient.”

He laughed. It wasn’t a little chuckle either. It was a full-on laugh. I crossed my arms and waited for him to finish.

“Do you want to keep sleeping with me?” he asked flat out.

“No, I’d prefer you fuck me,” I shot back, not sure what these emotions building up in my chest were.

“Good, me too.” He got off the sofa. “I have time off and I don’t often have that luxury. Usually, I’m only in a place for a night or two. So I came to find you and, if you’ll allow it of course, I want to spend that time with you.”

“What happened to not taking no for an answer?” I found a hoodie draped over the sofa and pulled it on, suddenly cold and much too naked.

“Do you want me here, Emory?”

Maybe it wasn’t as strange as I was trying to make it out to be in my head. But five miles. He’d hiked five miles in the snow. I shut down the line of thinking. I wasn’t going to be able to stop if I let it spiral out of control.

“I have to write a lot.” Now the logistics of it all were hitting me.

“Believe me, your agent yelled at me for twenty straight minutes when I told her I wanted to find you. She’s quite stern.”

“She’s good at her job, and a hardass.” But I loved her. Tough love was what I needed some days.

“She told me how late you are.” He gave me a look. “And said you came up here to finish and you needed total silence and peace. So if I need to take a vow of silence while I’m here, I think I can do it, minus sex. I like ordering you around in bed and everyone needs a little exercise. Not good for you to be sitting at your desk all day. Makes the blood stagnant.”

I pulled the neck of my hoodie up to my nose. “No need for that, but you can’t talk to me while I’m writing. If you do, I’ll lose my train of thought.”

“I understand. I get like that while working on music.” He got up from the couch and came over to pull the fabric off my face. “Don’t hide this. I like this.” He brushed his knuckles over my cheek.

I closed my eyes and groaned.

“You haven’t accepted my request.” River’s words were stern.

“Yes, stay.”

“I’ll be as quiet as a church mouse.”

“But I don’t work the whole time I’m up here so it’s not really like I need utter silence. I watch movies and read and walk.” I glanced at the window. “As long as we don’t get more snow, I’ll hike.”

“And you do all this alone?”

“Generally.” No, the real answer was no. I hadn’t been able to face it alone since my father died. He used to come up here with me and fish while I wrote. We had a good thing going. I’d been dreading the loneliness for months.

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted River here. If only for a little while.

“So…friends? Friends who sleep together? We both can work.”

“How long are you staying for?” I pointedly didn’t answer. I didn’t want to only be his fuck buddy. I needed to tell myself this was a rebound and then he’d be gone. If I let myself get more attached, I’d… I didn’t want to think what I’d be.

---