Page 95 of Pretty Obsessed

“Sounds hot. Do I know him?”

I laughed more.

“What burned you?” River asked.

“I answered the phone thinking it was you, and it was my ex. He’d blocked the number.”

“And you thought since I was here…”

“Yep.” I sighed. Was this something we should be talking about? When had our lines become so blurred?“He was waiting at my place when I got home.”

“Why was he at your place?”

“He claimed he was here to pick up stuff but he wanted to talk about you.” Again, I wasn’t sure this was the best line of questioning.

“About me?”

“I think, like the rest of the world, he’d ask why a writer and a rockstar are suddenly best friends.” I couldn’t make this up. All of it seemed like satire. “He wants to get back together.”

“Are you going to?” Suddenly River’s voice was serious.

“No, I made that clear. And I didn’t tell him anything about you, but I don’t know. He said a lot of stuff. I don’t think he will, but I hope he doesn’t open his mouth to people.”

River was silent for a long time.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” he asked. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s not your fault he was there.”

I thought about why I was sorry for a few minutes. “Because I don’t want him to assume things about us because I won’t get back together with him.”

“Would you get back with him if it wasn’t for me?” he asked, hesitation coming through his tone.

“No. Never again. He’d cheated basically our whole relationship. He tried to act like physical stuff shouldn’t matter, and that it only happened during breaks, and I bought it at first, but then he did it while I was at the cabin scattering my father’s ashes, and it just—” My voice broke.

“He destroyed it.”

“Yes, and you know I can’t be serious with someone who’s sleeping with other people. Maybe some people can, and there is a difference between love and sex to them, but I’m not one of those people. And even if none of that mattered, he lied to me. A lot. I don’t want to be lied to, River.” Had this somehow turned into talking about us? I couldn’t tell anymore what I meant or what I wanted River to know.

I really hoped he didn’t take my whole rant personally and stop talking to me over it. I knew what he was, and we weren’t exclusive. He wasn’t lying to me about what he was. I tried to find words to tell him that but came up blank.

“I think that’s fair. Truth is important.”

I latched onto his statement. “Yes, truth is important. I don’t want to be lied to. So if we’re just having fun, we’re just having fun. But that’s not the guy I’m going to live with. Does that make sense?”

“I think so.”

“What did you want to talk about?” I asked after another suffocating silence.

“Tomorrow. I don’t want to put more on your plate. Did you get a lot done on the plane?”

“I think so.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m going to re-edit them before I send them to my editor. I don’t want to send her crap. And it's not putting more on my plate, River.” It would eat at me if he didn't tell me.

"Tomorrow. It's late and you have pages to look at."

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