Page 102 of Pretty Obsessed

"I don't want to admit it out loud.”

"You don't have to, but it won't change the way I see you if you do. I promise." He was so genuine.

"You can't know that." I put my face in my hand.

"I do know it. I've seen who you are, River. We've all had bad moments and have battles we fight, it doesn't change who we are at our core."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe he'd understand. But could anyone understand this darkness I carried?

"Trust me."

And didn't I want him to do just that? If I expected it from him, shouldn't I be leading by example? I exhaled fear.

"I wanted to kill the guy, but I don't mean like those thoughts we all have at times. I mean had I been intoxicated I would have killed him. I could feel it. My hands shook with it, the only thing that kept me from hitting him was my sobriety." I risked a look. "I would have done it. I would have hit him until he stopped moving and kept hitting him. The rage barely contained as it was.” My chest heaved with my words. With the weight of them.

"I wish I was there." Not an ounce of judgment from him. All kindness. "I'm glad you weren't intoxicated."

"Me too. I could have spent the rest of my life in jail because of that."

“He would have deserved it doing what he was to Iris.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not who I want to be.”

"I wish I could hug you."

"Me too. All these miles between us." I tried not to shake, raw from emotions.

"Does Iris know?"

"Not all of it. He's very thankful I interceded."

"You haven't told anyone else, have you?" he asked, seeing right through me.

"No, no one. You're the first, Emory."

"I demand you fly here right now so I can hug you."

"Just a hug? Is that all I get?"

He laughed, and then I did, which broke some of the tension and for that I was thankful.

"You get so much more. Anything you want."

"Anything?" I tried to be as devious with my words, not wanting to feel any of what I was.

"For trusting me, yes."

"I'm going to hold you to that on my birthday. It will be double, so you will have to."

"I'll allow it." He smiled so genuinely and full of love, or I hoped.

"Since I own you, you don't have a choice."

He shook his head, still laughing. "Touché."

I winked, feeling lighter than I had in a long time. "It's nice waking up to you."

"Since I work from home, you can call me all the mornings you have time."

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