Page 68 of Pretty Obsessed

"I don't know, Iris." I inched near, taking a seat as close as I dared.

He glanced over his shoulder. "I want desperately to quit, but even if I do, what would I do? I have nothing but this. But you… and…" He shook his head, turning back towards the lake, the icy wind blowing the loose strands of his hair.

"And Cas?"

"If he forgives me."

"What happened?"

He shook his head and took a last hit off the joint before snubbing it out on the side of the building. "I can't tell you. I wish I could, but I really can't."

"You can tell me anything."

"It's not my secret." He glanced over his shoulder. "It doesn't matter. We're done. Tell Alexander I'll go. I'm sorry he made you come here. Can you go back?"

I could. Spend maybe another few days there, but then what? Leave Iris to this. Not like this. Not on the edge, both literally and figuratively. I scooted slowly until my back pressed against the ledge next to where Iris sat. I leaned my head into him, wrapping an arm around him, as much to make sure he didn't fall as to give over all the comfort I possessed.

"Not a good idea. Why don't you and I fly out early, take a few days off? We can be tourists. Get you out of your head."

He glared down, sliding an arm around me. "You're serious?”

"Of course I am."

"Please."

I let out a breath, leaving my thoughts in the cabin with Emory.

* * *

Iris, blissed out enough to try and sleep, returned to my room with me and once he was snoring, I went to find Alexander.

"Are you kidding me? You seriously think after all these years, forcing Iris to do anything would get you anywhere?"

"Why the fuck do you think I called you? You’re the only one who can reason with him when he's like that."

"I can't believe you did that. I thought he was dead. Don't you ever leave me a message like that again and then not answer your phone,” I said, unable to contain my rage any longer.

"Lowe told me he told you Iris was fine."

"It wasn't his responsibility, and I shouldn’t have to think my best friend was dead because of you.” My hands shook, and I would have given anything for a drink.

"No, it's my responsibility to keep the goddamn band together so you can fulfill your fucking contracts. I'm here trying to make sure he's not too coked out daily to get on stage and sing his own fucking lyrics. I brought you back here because I needed you to be a team player and talk him down. We all have nothing without him. You know that as much as I do.He is Pretty Broken." Alexander stiffened, but he was right. “If he leaves, all of us are out of a fucking job.”

"And what are you going to do? Keep feeding him coke until it kills him? Keep shoving him on stage until he's so miserable he can't stand it anymore? How is any of this right?”

"I didn't give him the fucking coke. I'm only dealing with the damn problems I was handed. You have months left. He has to get through it." He sneered at me. “Do you know how much money you will lose if these shows get canceled? Not everyone can be you and straightedge. This is rock and roll. It’s the lifestyle.”

I scrubbed a hand over my face. "You expect him to finish this tour, and then what?”

"We'll get him into rehab. Clean him out enough, then he can write another platinum album about it."

I felt like my hands were tied as I returned to my room. Trapped in the worst kind of situation. I loved my job. I loved touring. I loved playing every night. This was my dream. And I knew the other guys felt the same way, but Alexander was right. There was no Pretty Broken without Iris.

He was the heart and soul of the band. And about as broken as a person could be.

I'd talk to him in Japan and make sure he could do this. I couldn't have driving him into the ground on my conscience. It wasn't about the money or the ruin of us. Iris was more important than all of it.

Fourteen

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