Page 90 of Pretty Obsessed

“Yes.” He slipped his hand into mine. “I want to be able to help, but I feel helpless.”

I leaned against the side of the building, drawing River forwards by our connected hands. “You’re a lot for him. You can’t carry all of him.”

“I know,” River said but I wasn’t convinced he didn’t believe it. “You help.”

“With him or with you?” I asked smiling feeling like we were on top of the world.

“Yes,” he said again laughing, sliding fingers up my arm to brush over the plastic wrap. “I think he and I both needed it. I just hope he and Cas can work their issues out or stay away from each other long enough to get through this. I don’t know if they could manage it. They can’t seem to stay away from each other.” River’s words gave me the opening to ask what had been in the back of my mind since soundcheck.

I tried to come up with a way to word it, but there wasn’t any other way to broach the subject.

“Do you think one of them has feelings for the other?”

His brows pulled and his expression turned thoughtful. “You think?”

“It came to me earlier. I don’t know. There are so many feelings wrapped up in Iris, and I didn’t know him before all of this, so I don’t know if he’s always been like this or if this is all because of Cas.”

“He’s always been all feelings, but that doesn’t mean a lot of this isn’t because of Cas. It’s hard to tell with him, he wears his sadness on his sleeve but keeps the reasons close. So it’s hard to tell if it’s his normal or if there is more to it.” River turned to lean against the wall next to me.

“Especially after seeing them fight after the show, it feels like there has to be more there. Maybe I’m reading too much into it as a writer with an affinity for romance but could be touring together and being friends turned into that.”

River looked up at the sky. “I don’t know. You hear about these visceral arguments that cause bands to break up and it happens all the time doesn’t it? People get sick of spending so much time together and everything starts to grate, or so we’re told. Who really knows the reasons behind any breakup except the parties involved? I’d love to think it was more than them just hating each other but it doesn’t leave us better off, does it? A broken heart would kill the band as much as any other disagreement. Can we come back from either?”

“Maybe you can. I don’t know. Feelings are hard, and love is complicated. Some people can be friends after a breakup and they’ll tell you it’s possible, and others can’t and I’m not sure either is wrong.” I nudged my shoulder into his. “But it’s not in your control. You can do your best, but they have to work it out.”

He nodded but I could tell it didn’t take the weight of responsibility off his shoulders. “I know I can’t, but I still feel like I am.”

“Feelings are complicated.”

“So very much so.” He leaned his head against mine. “You help. Is that bad for me to say?”

"It’s an honor to help.” I rubbed my temple against his.

He made a happy noise I’d never heard before.

“What was that?” I turned my head, so my lips brushed his cheek.

“I don’t know.” He put a hand over his eyes and scrunched up his nose. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I liked it.” I kept rubbing my face against his cheek.

“Me too,” he turned into my nuzzle, making our lips meet.

“We’re going to get caught,” I said into his lips but didn’t stop kissing him.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” he asked but I couldn’t read his tone.

“I don’t know. Would it be?”

He turned towards me, putting his hand on my cheek. “Probably to Alexander.”

I laughed, glad this hadn’t gotten any heavier than it already was for the night. “We should get some sleep. Don’t we have to be on the bus early?”

“Very.” River groaned. “Are you coming then?”

“Do you want me to?”

His green eyes met mine. “Yes, as long as you’re getting enough work done. I love having you here, but it feels selfish.”

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