“I’d feel even better with my lips around your cock, and I bet you’d be a whole lot less stressed.” He tries to lower down, but I stop him.
“We need to talk first.”
THIRTY-THREE
LOGAN
My heart stops.
If my father fucks this up, I will never forgive him, but the thought doesn’t give me any solace, because no matter how much I hate my father, it will never replace Anthony.
“Are you breaking up with me?” I pull back enough to look him in the eyes. “Because I don’t want you to do that.”
“I don’t want to break up with you, Logan.”
“But you have to because otherwise, they will find out?” I’m trying not to lose my shit, but keeping it together is not easy.
His brows pull, and he cups my face, bringing our mouths together. Anthony kisses me like he’s never going to leave me, but his eyes are saying otherwise. I don’t know which to believe.
“Please just tell me,” I say when we finally break apart. I brace myself for it, but even that, I don’t know how to do. I’ve never cared about anyone like I do Anthony.
“I think after this season, I should quit,” he says.
It’s the last thing I expected.
“What? You can’t do that! The team will never forgive me.”
“Isn’t it better to quit than to be fired? They are going to find out. Or your dad will win.” Anguish courses through him, and I hate my father more, which I didn’t think was possible.
“Make them fucking fire you. We’re careful, and my father is an asshole. They should have to pay out your entire fucking contract if they want to get rid of you.” I’m so mad. I want revenge, but I want to be here with him.
“They will weasel their way into not paying out my contract if they find out about us.”
“They won’t. My dad will have to make up some other stupid reason.” But I know I can’t promise that.
Anthony looks into my eyes with pain in his. “No job is worth losing you. It will get your father off your back and off mine. I’ll find another job.”
“And then what? Move to another city?” Sadness hits me like a puck to the solar plexus, completely knocking the wind out of me. “I don’t want that either, and the team will never forgive me.”
“Other than me murdering your father, I don’t know what to tell you.”
I press my face into his shoulder. “You’re not breaking up with me?”
“No.” He kisses my temple.
“You’ve only known me a year. Are you going to resent me for being the reason you’re quitting your job?”
“No. I know what I want.” His words break my heart.
“What do you fucking know?” I ask, wanting to hear the words.
“I know I’ve never felt this way with anyone else, and I’m not willing to lose it.”
But I can’t be the one to take this away from him. “I don’t want to lose you either.”
“I’m sure I’ll find another coaching job easily with our season. I’ll try and stay close.”
“No.” The solution hits me, and I pull back. “If it’s that big a deal, I’ll quit. Hockey isn’t my life. I don’t want to be my father.I’d rather manage the team than play. If this is where my career ends, then it ends. They can’t be mad at you for dating me if I’m not on the team.”