“What are you talking about?” I hold on to my calm, even though it would be so easy to give into lust and forget about anything but how he makes me feel when he’s inside me.
“Do you really want this to be honest?” he asks carefully.
“Isn’t it already honest? We aren’t doing this under any pretenses or making it more than what it is. Sex is inherently honest.” I never let anyone bait me, even with a stupid reply.
“The sex is honest, but the rest of this isn’t. It’s a fucking fantasy.”
“What about this is a fantasy?” I laugh, unable to hold it back.
“I’m your coach. We can’t keep doing this.” Is he really choosing to have this conversation with me right now?
“Why not? It’s clearly not getting me any special treatment.” The smart ass leaks out.
“Because this will go south. You’re already mad I didn’t start you.”
I laugh right in his face. “Me frustrated about not being on the line I want has nothing to do with us hooking up.”
“You expected to start.”
“Of course I did. I’m one of the best players on the team. We both know that. Rex recruited me to fill a space on that line.”
“You have things you need to work on. You know that.” He’s serious, and I can’t believe it.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come onto your team perfect.”
Is this revenge against my father? I don’t even care if it is. The man deserves it, but he should just be honest with me about it.
“I won’t start you just because we fucked. You can’t expect that.”
“I never fucking asked you to.”
“Then why are we talking about this?”
I cross my arms over my chest, not sure this is even worth talking about. “Every fucking player on the team has things theyneed to work on, but I’m the only one you’re hard on because we fucked. You are harder on me than any of them because we fuck. I’ve accepted that since day one, but I’m not going to accept you doing worse by me because you think someone will notice some imaginary special treatment.” My words shut him up.
He opens his mouth but shuts it, taking a minute to articulate what he’s going to say. “I’m hard on you because I know you can improve and you have the potential to be the best. Better than your father. You’re so fucking short sighted, you don’t see it. If you put half the work into hockey as you did into getting me into bed, you’d be unstoppable.”
“One has nothing to do with the other.”
“They do. I see how hard you do some things. You don’t take no for an answer.”
“It’s different,” I say, my tone warning him not to go there.
“It’s not fucking different, Logan.” His use of my first name makes me wince. “You’ve been considered the best in the youth league for too long, and it has made you stagnate.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” I shake my head and step towards the door.
He gets in my way. “Why can’t you see it?”
“The difference is: I wanted you, so it’s not work.” I don’t know how he’ll react to the truth, but I’m not going to keep having this argument with him.
“What do you mean? You keep chasing me. Every time I’ve tried to say no—” It finally clicks. “What are you saying?”
“I want you, so it’s fun to chase you. I don’t want this to stop.” I lift my shoulders. I shouldn’t have to spell it out for him. If he can’t get it through his head, it’s not my fucking problem.
He narrows his eyes like he’s doing calculus. “So I’m worth the effort, but you think hockey should just be handed to you?”
“No, I work hard in hockey—I just don’t care as much about it.”