Page 143 of The Penalty

“I know. I’m so fucking sorry. I should have just told you, but I didn’t know how. I half convinced myself it wasn’t more than a sexual thing and by the time I realized how serious it was I didn’t want to hurt you.” I press my forehead into his door, feeling like the biggest jackass in the world. “But I didn’t know you liked me. I would never have done anything with him had I known.”

“It’s too fucking late now.”

“I know,” I whisper. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“But you’re not going to stop seeing him.”

“I love him.” I admit because I’d rather he hears it from me than Teddy.

Tobi takes a shaky breath, holding back a sob, and it rips my heart out. “Can you leave now?”

“I love you too. It’s just different.”

“It’s not the same at all.”

“Yes, it is. It would kill me to lose your friendship. You are so important to me.” I don’t know how to get through to him, or if that’s even possible.

“But you’re willing to lose me to keep him.”

“No, if you really want me to break up with him, I will.” I’m not really sure that’s true, but it just comes out of my mouth and maybe it would be the right thing to do. I don’t know anymore. It would kill me to lose Teddy, but it would also kill me to lose Tobi. This feels impossible.

“It doesn’t matter. You’ll never love me, so do whatever you want.” His tone turns cold.

“I’m sorry. But I do still need you.”

“I need time. Please respect that.”

“Okay,” I say but it breaks my heart.

THIRTY-EIGHT

TEDDY

Ican’t fix what is happening with Rhys’ family, but I can fix the shit with mine.

I think.

I hope.

Tobi has been avoiding me since he found us at the hotel, probably using my fucking location through our family share.

Bestest Son Ever: momma i need ur help

Momma: Of course, what do you need?

Bestest Son Ever: i need u 2 get tobi home

Momma: Why? You live in the same building.

Bestest Son Ever: hes avoiding me

Momma: And why is that?

Bestest Son Ever: ill tell u later

Momma: I don’t like it, but fine. When?

Bestest Son Ever: 2nite

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