Page 108 of The Penalty

Colin: I’m sorry?

Teddy: u should b sorry

Colin: For what should I be sorry?

“You know, I’ve seen you at a lot of these parties. You never hook up or even look at anyone. Are you like asexual or something?”

I look up from my phone at the touchy girl, confused by her question. “I can’t have my own babies. I don’t have the incubator part.”

She looks confused at me. “What?”

“People need both kinds of sexy parts to have babies. I only have one part so I can’t be asexual. That’s science.”

“Rude,” she huffs.

“No you’re rude and you don’t know science!”

“What?” she asks.

“You shouldn’t ask people about their sexy parts, how they make produce, or what they’re into at a party. That’s what my mom told me!”

She looks like she smells something weird and walks away. Finally.

Colin: Are you ignoring me now?

Teddy: had 2 get rid of the touchy grl

Teddy: she thought i had a user-us

Colin: What?

Teddy: ur husband and the other 1 are being dick biscuits

Colin: What is a dick biscuit? I might want one.

Teddy: no its bad *Frowny face*

Colin: Are you sure? If my husband is one it can’t be that bad.

Teddy: i’m sure! it’s rotten

Colin: It’s when the dick is bad? How would you know? I’m sure I would have known if you fucked my husband.

Teddy: no no the other godfrey

Colin: Bullshit.

Teddy: not bullshit we fuck a lot

Colin: There’s no way. He’s painfully monogamous. He’s an asshole, but not a cheater.

Teddy: dont talk about him that way

Colin: He’s my brother in law and married to my best friend. I’ve earned the right.

Teddy: aww ur my friend 2

Colin: What is happening?

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