Page 38 of Fall Apart

ROOMMATE

“If you wantthat nitro cold brew and croissant trip tomorrow morning, you’re going to earn it,” I challenge Lizzy from across living room floor on our opposing yoga mats.

“You’re a sadistic asshole.” She groans, trying to get deeper into her pose, stretching her hips. “Using my morning coffee to motivate me is pure evil. And am I quiet enough for you now?”

A deep chuckle rumbles in my chest. “You asked for an accountability buddy, here I am. And I never said you were too loud. It was just an observation.”

There’s something gratifying about her calling me sadistic when I’ve been calling myself a masochist for inviting her to stay here. But that said, I’ve actually enjoyed our workout sessions and coffee runs over the last week. This Friday evening is no different.

“Leave it to me to find someone that will actually take me seriously to hold me accountable and use my morning coffee against me along the way.”

I pause, looking at her. She always seems so confident, but sometimes I notice these gaps where it feels like she doubts herself. “What do you mean take you seriously?”

I hear a frustrated breath escape her as she flops down on to her back, looking up at the ceiling. “I didn’t realize I signed up for an accountability buddyandtherapist.”

If she only knew the shit I’ve had to unravel. I clear my throat, stride over to her and lay down on the floor beside her.

“Try me.”

She rolls over, looking at me curiously with her ponytail draped over her shoulder, hanging between her breasts. I pull my eyes away to meet hers, which are already waiting with a knowing grin.

“The other day. You said I’msomething else. And you said it at the bar too. But the way you said it stuck with me.”

I roll to face her, propping myself up on my elbow, matching her.

“Yeah. I meant it.You aresomething else.”

She scrubs her hand over her face before shoving me in the chest with a frustrated laugh. “That’s what I mean, my whole life, I’ve been told I’m too much.Tone it down, Lizzy.Inside voice, Lizzy.But then with other people, - my ex, my dad - it feels like I’m not enough.” Her eyes drop and I finally see a crack in that fierce facade. “I just want to be me and taken seriously for who I am.”

Fuck me. This is the girl that dreams are made of. Everything about her is so genuine, so defiant, so real. Anyone that could make her doubt herself, much less one of her own parents, needs a sanity check or a fist to the face.

“Hey.” I reach out and tilt her chin back up, forcing her to look at me. The feeling of her skin on my finger tips sends a jolt through me. “You’re amazing. If you need a reminder of that, just remember the whole Chapman family, the Perry twins and even Kayleigh like you. I’d consider that pretty good company.”

She nods and then pulls my hand away to the ground between us. “Alright, your turn.”

“What?” I ask, sure that my face is expressing the right level of confusion.

A mischievous grin takes over her face. “I shared, now it’s your turn. Tell me about…” she pauses and taps one of those pink nails against those fucking lips I keep thinking about tasting again. “The Jensens. How did you become so close with them?”

A shiver runs right down my spine. “You really don’t pull punches.” She shrugs and cocks her head, letting her smile do all thetalking. “Fine. I met Kayleigh in my ski competitions during my last year of high school. I was in international qualifiers working up to the Olympic qualifiers at that point. And well, you know her dad and her family’s history. He took an interest in me pretty earlier on.”

She nods. “Did you and Kayleigh ever…?”

I snort a laugh. This is the question I was waiting for. “We dated in high school, if you could even call it that. We’re entirely incompatible romantically. But we’ve been best friends ever since.”

She hums curiously. “And when did you start working for him?”

“A couple years after Mom,” I trail off, my voice strained. Even now the words still stick in my throat, not letting me finish the sentence. These are things I’ve buried in me, practically never talking about with anyone. “That’s when I tore my other ACL. Up to that point, I was rehabbing and training to compete and in school for architecture. After my second ACL injury, I just needed to stop. My headspace was a giant mess. My dad had his hands full with Grace and his own grief. Mr. Jensen was there for me and mentored me. I took a break from school, started working for him, and never stopped.”

The way her icy blue eyes cut into me with her soft smile makes me feel something I haven’t felt in ages. She’s not pitying me, she’s not afraid of me - she’s just here, feeling this with me. This time, she reaches out to me, cupping my jaw and running her thumb over my stubble. All of this just feels so charged. I can feel my heart pounding against my ribs. Everything about her makes me feel electric. She inches closer to me and I swear I can hear her heart beating.

And that’s when I hear something else. Our eyes look to the same place, spotting Ani running towards us, his collar jingling. He’s carrying something in his mouth. We’re both laying on the ground, catching our breath when he reaches us.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“Someone has been a bad boy.” I pat him on the head, already laughing to myself when I see what’s in his mouth. “Drop it.”

He immediately dropsiton the floor between Lizzy and me.

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