Page 46 of Fall Apart

“Now get down here and stretch me out, accountability buddy.”

I groan internally.Fuck my life.This is going to be impossible.

Somehow,I make it to Monday and I’m relieved to be back at the job site, even if I have to see Mr. Jensen while I’m here. Survivingyoga on Saturday and Sunday with her plus a coffee run tested every limit of my patience.

She’s everywhere.

Her yoga mat in my living room. Her jacket and keys, even if they’re neatly hung in the entryway, are still the first thing I notice when I walk in the door. Her stuff in my office. The smell of her shampoo on the throw blankets on my couch.

She’s everywhere even if she’s not physically there.

I stand out on the porch of the penthouse, drinking my morning coffee, which also conveniently reminds me of her.Literally. Everywhere.

“Morning, Clay.” Mr. Jensen walks up next to me. I nod and take a sip of my coffee.

He leans against the railing, looking back inside through the French doors. “So are we getting back on track?”

“Yeah. It’s starting to come back together. Plumbing is fixed and inspected. Soon we can put the drywall ceiling back in downstairs and then finally insulate and finish the floors and walls up here.” I sigh and shake my head, looking around the job. “I still can’t believe I fucked that up.”

Mr. Jensen stands closer, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Just remember what I always taught you. Stay in control.Get rid of distractions.” I say the last part with him in unison. He’s been telling me this for years.

“I know, I know,” I say, trying not to remember the rest of the conversation the first time he told me to get rid of distractions.You’re broken. Look what happens when you get distracted.

I blink, trying to erase that train of thought.

“Don’t worry. We’ll get that condo downstairs fixed up and get your little blonde friend out of your hair soon enough. You can’t let her distract you.” My eyes fly up and meet his. Did Kayleigh tell him that or maybe it was Luke? I’ll have to talk to them about that. Notthat either of them know about what happened the other night, but there are still some things, even with them, that I want to keep private. There’s something about the way he saidlittle blonde friendthat doesn’t sit right with me.

I’m not one to show emotions, but he still must catch my apprehension, because he laughs and pats me on the shoulder. “Oh relax, Clay. You think I don’t know you after more than a decade? Boys will be boys. One of these days, you’ll finally give up that bachelor title and settle down.” He lets outs a laugh and grabs my shoulder and gives me a light shake. “But that girl, she’s just a distraction. She’ll go back home soon enough. Stay focused. Who knows? Maybe you and Kayleigh will get back together and you’ll finally make an honest woman out of her. You’ll need to if you’re going to run this company for me one day.”

My fist clenches behind me and my blood boils at the way he dismisses Lizzy and his daughter so easily. I can’t hide the grimace that spreads across my face. This is exactly the kind of shit that hurt Lizzy the other night and it’s shit my best friend has had to put up with for so long. I want to go off on him, but he helped me so much in the past when I needed it. Then there’s the present issue of him being my boss, so all I can do is try to ignore him and change the subject.

“Yeah, that’ll be the day,” I say with a halfhearted laugh. I would actually love to run a company like this one day, just not the way he does. I have my own style, my own ideas about design and projects. I look back at him, the man that’s been my mentor for so many years but also one I question more and more. “But you’re right, I need to get her place fixed.” That part is true. I promised her I would make it right and I need to make that happen.

“Another thing - you approved that invoice for GJF for the lodge job, right?” I nod, thinking it’s odd though. He never asks about mundane invoices for vendors. That seems like something he’d be too busy for and have someone in the accounting department handle.

He smiles and rasps his knuckles twice against the wooden railing between us. “Good, I always know I can count on you.” He stands up and walks towards the doors heading back inside.

He reaches the doorway and stops. “I’ll still see you Thursday though for our normal check in. Oh, and don’t forget, the annual company banquet is next month. Big announcement this year.”

Maybe that means he’s finally going to retire. Something I wouldn’t mind. I nod politely. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

“That’s the spirit,” he says with that smile that still doesn’t meet his eyes. “You know our customers love seeing you.” There it is. He loves parading me around, the former ski prodigy, now his right hand man. I put up with it, partially out of a sense of obligation, but also because I’ve earned what I have. Sure, he took me under his wing. But I worked from the bottom up and probably do more for him than he even realizes.

I contain my irritation and match his fake smile, desperate for this conversation to be over. “Glad to help. Have a good night, Mr. Jensen.”

He turns and leaves and I finally let my fist unclench behind me. I’m mad that he would just dismiss Lizzy like that.

But I’m mad that he’s right.

I’m too distracted.

When I walkin my door, a flood of relief hits me. My house is empty. If I remember right, Lizzy is meeting Grace to go shopping. I’m genuinely glad they’re becoming friends. After Mom, it was hard for Grace to make friends, going through a rough spot her last coupleof years in high school. Sure, it’s been a decade, but she’s finally coming out of her shell the last couple of years.

But I’m equally, selfishly glad that Grace is sparing me some of the brunt of hurricane Lizzy. I put my jacket and boots away then hang my keys. Walking towards the living area, I grab a couple of logs and a handful of kindling to start a fire. If I have the house to myself tonight, I plan on stretching and taking Ani out, then ending my night with a glass of bourbon and a book in my chair.

Once the fire is going, I head to the laundry room. I strip down, throwing my work clothes right into the washer to start a load. When I look up, I’m already reminded again that Lizzy is everywhere in my life right now. Her tiny yoga outfits are hanging up to air dry and I try to ignore the thought of how her tight body looks in them. The memory of being pressed against her on the floor, folding her legs into a deep stretch. Or, when she wasn’t wearing them, the feeling of her thighs wrapped around my head when she came with my tongue flicking her clit.

I shudder and grab a pair of clean, crisply folded dark gray sweats and a black t-shirt from my clean hamper and change into them. They do nothing to hide my growing erection, but I don’t really care right now. I shift myself in my pants and start the laundry.

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