Page 55 of Fall Apart

Clay groans again and mutters something under his breath.

“So, you ready for the Bend trip?” I ask, already excited to see Tanner and V again. “I already talked to V. She has alight and loose suggesteditinerary for us.”

She laughs. “Of course she would. But yeah, I’m excited for the trip.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah. Some things never change with her,” I say, remembering that not that long ago, V was obsessed with planning every little detail.

“When are you guys going?” Clay's low voice breaks up the light hearted talk. I look at him, noticing the look in his eyes is different. The look isn’t theplease make my little sister stop asking about my sex life look.No, it’s a different, disappointed look.

“First week of May. Going to do some spring skiing and explore town a bit,” Grace replies, shrugging. “Do you want to come? Tanner’s got a house for the week, right on the Deschutes River.”

He takes a sip of his drink and nods, a small smile crossing his face. “Yeah, I think I can do that. Finally back on track and even a little ahead of schedule at work.”

“Cool. I know Tanner would love to have you there too.” Grace smiles at him before turning back to me. “You still free for happy hour on Tuesday?”

“Yep. Roxy’s?”

She nods and takes a bite of food.

We continue talking about the trip, I’m definitely looking forward to seeing V and Tanner. Grace rambles on, talking a mile a minute about all the things she wants to check out in Bend. Apparently, there’s a great river park, lots of breweries, and some great Western bars.

Her excitement is in stark contrast to her brother. I can’t help but notice that Clay is quiet the rest of the time. Not the brooding quiet I’m used to, but a quiet that gnaws at me.

When we get backto Clay’s house, he opens the passenger door for me like normal and heads inside to let Ani out. He was quiet the whole ride back, more so than normal. He heads in and opens the front door, standing on the porch watching Ani bolt out into the yard. Seeing him run and play in the spring snow in his sweater still brings a bit of warm pride to me.

Clay leans against the railing of the porch, watching Ani. I lean next to him, enjoying the warmth of being so close.

“You want to tell me what’s got you all quiet for most of brunch and the ride back?” I bump my hip into him, trying to get his attention.

He looks down at me with a smile that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “Not really.” I lean further into him, nuzzling my head into hisshoulder, humming to myself. “But I know you’re not going to drop it.”

“Nope.” I grin and give him two quick pats on his very firm, delicious ass. “You’re a fast learner.”

He sighs and I can feel his big, burly body deflate next to me. “It hurt my feelings.” Now that isn’t what I expected. A giggle bursts out of me and I reach to cover my mouth. He looks down at me, glaring. “Do you want me to keep talking or not?”

I smile back up at him, one hand on my chest and one still covering my mouth. “I’m sorry. You’re right, that was mean.” I shake my head, putting my hands on my hips. “I’m just shocked that something got under your skin like that.”

He hangs his head again and something about it is both sweet and endearing, but also heart wrenching. “You all have had this trip planned for over a month and no one ever even thought to ask me if I’d want to go.”

I take a second to think about that. He’s right. I mean, I get it. He was grumpy and moody and I’m sure his family knows that better than I do. He still is prickly with almost everyone I’ve seen him around. But that has to hurt to not even be asked by your own family to go on a trip with them.

“Did they ever ask in the past if you wanted to do things together like that?” I ask, wondering if this is a new thing.

His lips pull to one side and he rocks his head side to side. “Years ago. But at some point, I don’t know what happened. Either I kept saying no or they stopped asking.” He lets out a long sigh. “It’s been so long, it’s hard to remember who stopped first. I don’t like being like this. I don’t like feeling like this.”

I reach up, rubbing his back between his shoulders and an idea comes to me.

“You need a buddy.”

He looks back down at me, quirking a brow.

“A what?”

I lean against the railing, crossing my arms and grin back up at him. “You’re my accountability buddy.” I reach toward him and boop him on the nose. “A very pretty one.”

He snorts a laugh. “OK, and?”

“You need a…” I hum to myself and tap my finger to my lips, not missing the way his eyes follow that motion. “A disposition improvement buddy.”

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