Page 59 of Fall Apart

LIZZY

DISCREET PACKAGING

I haveto admit that living in Clay’s house over the last month has been a pleasant surprise. It might have started out like a weird version of Beauty and the Beast, except he was already smoking hot and fucking him has only made him hotter. I mean I know it’s not a giant French mansion in the countryside. But I also would never have expected the rough, tattooed cocky man in Roxy’s that night to be the type to buy a giant pile of plush pillows and stock the house for me. The kind of man that worships me in a way I’ve never experienced.

He even set up my docking station and an extra monitor in his office for me so I can work from here on the days I don’t need to be at the plant, like today.

And Jessica was right. The plant here is a giant mess and I really, really need to go through some of this data and honestly it will be easier here away from the distractions of my office.

Well, not zero distractions. Even though Clay is at the site at the Aspen Grove Club fixing the condo’s entire ceiling and half the floors, he still left me some house chores becauseI’m a brat and it would be good for me.

Sitting at the desk with my coffee, I look down on the floor beside me. “Ani, your daddy called you a chore. How do you feel about that?”

I was sort of terrified of Ani at first, but now I love him being around. He feels like an extension of Clay. I watch as he grunts and sighs before rolling over on his back with his tongue hanging out. I roll my eyes. “Your dad is way more of a gentleman than you, sir.” That thought brings a little welcome warmth to my heart. Clay really is a gentleman at heart. I know that is true.

Still, seeing him the other night with Kayleigh spooked me. They looked so close and so intimate that it felt like there’s more to them. I know he says they’re just friends, but it still got to me. I don’t want to feel like Johnathan made me feel again. I don’t want to doubt myself or be told to be something other than myself.

And I do feel like Clay is trustworthy. I feel like I believe him about Kayleigh. They have shared baggage. But I still get this feeling that there’s something hiding there and I’m not getting the full story.

I do feel better knowing that Clay already told Kayleigh about us. The way Clay was so calm put me at ease. Grace might have figured it out on her own, but the fact that he told her and that I’m not some hidden other woman, counts for something. And being on the same page, explicitly saying we’re the only ones in each others’ lives, feels good. I meant what I told him, I don’t know if I'm ready for more. But with him, I feel like I could be, like I want to be.

While I dwell on that, Ani gets my attention when he rolls over and jumps to his feet, looking around before running out of the room. Before I’m even out of my chair, I hear a knock on the door which makes Ani bark. I definitely feel safe with him around.

By the time I get to the door and open it with Ani sitting by my side, as Clay said he’s trained to do, I watch the delivery driver pull down the long, snow covered driveway. At my feet, on the doormat, is a brown box. “Ani, that was a lot of excitement for nothing.”

I reach down and grab the box, noticing the plain packaging. But it’s addressed to me, which is odd because I have uncharacteristically avoided online shopping since I’ve been out here. Walking back in and closing the door behind me, I set the box on the counter and grab a knife to cut the packaging tape. I hold a finger over my lips when I look at Ani. “Your dad doesn’t need to know I’m using the fancy knives to open it.” To my surprise, Ani steps closer to me nudging me with his snoot. “Damn, ok. But I’m telling you, I didn’t order you treats or another sweater.”

I open the box, pulling away the black and gold tissue paper when my jaw drops.

It’s a dildo.

Not just any dildo.

No, it’s a big, veiny, knobby, ridged, dragon fantasy dildo. I pull it out, half admiring it, half terrified of the soft, smooth silicone toy. It’s pretty. A shimmery pink and orange ombré. I set it on the counter to root through the rest of the box when I find a note.

I shake my head, wishing he was here to see my eye roll before I read it.

I saw you got the book I suggested and you’re reading it. Chapter Thirty-Three. Enjoy slaying those dragons.

I bringmy hand to my still gaping mouth, giggling. I grab the toy and head over to the kitchen sink. Clay says he won’t counter surf, but I’m still skeptical after he grabbed my other toy off my nightstand. After rinsing it, I set the toy on top of its silk storage bag to dry, still shaking my head.

It never ends with him. It really doesn’t. He’s a unicorn. He reads smut. He opens my car door for me. He’s secure in himself and he’s not intimidated by some sex toy. He really is something. How has he never been locked down by someone like Kayleigh?

That’s when my phone buzzes, distracting me from that unwelcome thought, and I see Jessica’s name flash across the screen.

Shit. I completely forgot it’s time for our one on one. I head back to sit down at the desk, with Ani following me.

I will always be grateful that I like my job at Fischer and work for Jessica. I feel like if I didn’t actually work for her, we’d be friends.

Sure, we’re both bright, bubbly, and outgoing blondes. But I don’t think that’s why we get along so well. We both know we got to where we are because we worked our asses off to get there.

And the second that someone doubts us and treats us like something less, that’s when we pounce. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen someone doubt Jessica, rolling their eyes at her or saying something patronizing only for her to come back and catch them off guard with a half dozen detailed reasons.

I sign on and turn on the video when her familiar voice comes through my headset. “What’s up, girl?”

“Not much. Just crunching these numbers. You weren’t kidding. This place is a hot mess, but we can get them where we want.”

She laughs. “I knew you were the right one for the job. Also, no video today. I’m heading out of the office early and I’m out on vacation tomorrow. Heading to Red River Gorge for the weekend with the husband.”

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