Page 7 of Fall Apart

Even the sting of a one night stand running off before it even got started is brutal, but also just feels normal at this point in my life.

This is why I don’t let myself get attached to anything. This is why I don’t let myself think about the future.

Focus on the now.

Focus on what I can control.

CHAPTER 3

LIZZY

CHEEKY SEXCAPADES

I wake up,squinting at the morning light sneaking in through the curtains. Groaning, I bury my face in the pillow. I’m a girl that needs a solid eight hours of beauty sleep to feel my best. And right now, I do not feel my best. I feel like death. I slept like shit.

I really need to give Dad a piece of my mind. I doubt he’d think anything of it, but I want to on principle alone. When I asked if I could have the condo this week with Veronica, he left out the tiny detail about the top floor of the condo building being remodeled. I’m guessing that’s why he hasn’t been out here yet this winter. Our unit was done last summer, but now apparently the entire floor above us is being remodeled and expanded.

I shouldn’t be surprised though. Dad has been focused solely on his business since I was a teenager. If something doesn’t impact him, it’s out of sight and out of mind. I know it’s not out of spite. My dad loves me and I’m grateful for that. He’s just always so busy. It feelslike me, his literal firstborn, hasn’t been a high priority in his life in a long time, especially after Charlotte. I get it, she’s almost ten years younger than me and needed extra care growing up. And he’s self made and came from literally nothing and built his company. I just wish I could get more of his time and energy, even now in my thirties. I just want to be the priority to someone in my life. Ever since I moved back to Ohio, at least I had V, my ride or die, always by my side. Someone that always made me a priority, like the day I showed up on her doorstep six months ago. I know I might just be in my head, but I feel this more now that V has moved out to Wyoming with Tanner and I don’t see her everyday. I’m worried I’ll lose that.

Maybe when my dad retires we’ll finally spend some quality time together.

I close my eyes, trying not to think about that but also trying to look away from the light coming in from the window. To top it off, one of the contractors thought it would be funny to get here at seven in the freaking morning. I swear this guy thinks it must be fun to start stomping around like a one man wrecking crew.

But no, that’s only a small part of why I barely slept last night. No. There’s definitely one verybigreason. One big, handsome, dark and brooding reason.

Clay. Fucking. Chapman.

Even thinking about him makes my entire body tingle remembering the way his eyes shamelessly devoured me last night. I mean I definitely did the same thing to him, but still. He was so intense it was somehow both unnerving and deeply satisfying. It felt like I washispriority last night.

Did I stay up all night looking at Tanner’s frustratingly limited social media trying to find a family picture to confirm my suspicion?

Yes. Of course I did.

Was he as hot as I remember from the dimly lit bar? Also, very much yes.

So. This is great.

Cool. Cool. Cool.

I made out with Tanner’s younger brother, Clay, in a bar last night. I felt his impressive erection against me through his jeans. I was this close to going home with him, and as he put it,getting fucked so hard I wouldn’t be able to walk straight.

Thinking about those dimples. That smile. Those rough hands gripping my hips. I’m sure it would have been rough and hot as hell. It would have been exactly what I wanted, what I needed.

Ok. Let’s be real.Waymore than that.

And if it wasn't someone I have an outside connection to, someone I could just have a one night fling with, I would have done it. I can’t do strings right now.

And getting involved with Clay? Yeah, there’s a lot of strings there.

So I did what I never do.

I’m cool. I’m confident.I never panic.

But last night, I panicked. I panicked and ran out of the bar barely saying a word to him like a crazy person. He probably thinks I’m insane too. At least I don’t have to see him today since he won’t be with us on the slopes. That’s a win.

Groaning,I flap my arms around and rock back and forth like a helpless, waddling penguin. “Geez, V. Call your boy off. He’s going to squish me to death.” I manage to wriggle out of Tanner’s bear hug, which I learned is a customary Chapman family greeting from Tanner and his grandmother. I give my best friend a playful scowl when she laughs at me. “Couldn’t you have fallen in love with someone slightly less mountain man-y?”

She crosses her arms and shakes her head at me before stepping over and bringing me into a hug. A much gentler, less possibly deadly hug. “Missed you too, Lizzy.”

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