Chapter Twenty-Five
Returning to the cottage, Caz opened the door and found Grace sitting on the sofa looking up at her, a slightly worried look on her face that eased the moment she laid eyes on Caz.
“Alright?” she asked. “You’ve been gone ages. I was starting to worry. You didn’t take your phone.”
Caz nodded. “Sorry, I got caught up…”
“Caught up?”
“I went for a walk on the beach and then this nice couple…I think they were worried about me, so they invited me to sit with them and talk…”
Grace stood up and eyed her up and down. “You went off with complete strangers and told them what, exactly?” There was now a lightly bemused look on her face.
“Was that not okay?” Caz asked hesitantly. She hadn’t considered if it was bad. In fact, it had done her a world of good being able to offload her thoughts and hear them answered by someone else’s logic.
Grace’s lips began to turn upward, revealing those little dimples that Caz loved. “You do know you went out in your vest and pants, right?”
Caz froze for a moment, before slowly glancing down at herself, and the bare arms and legs that hadn’t felt anything but the late summer heat and the fire pit. She was wearing a pair ofblack, snugly fitting boy shorts with the words ‘Hot Stuff’ written on them and a white vest, that at least hadn’t had any holes or oil stains.
“Oh, the shame.” She clapped a hand over her mouth and stifled a laugh. “That’ll be why they seemed a bit…I think they might have thought I was about to throw myself into the sea.”
“I didn’t think kissing me was that bad.” Grace smiled.
“No it wasn’t that, it was—"
She stared at Grace and the giggle she’d stifled began to escape. Grace mirrored her and before they knew it, they were both doubled over and falling into each other on the couch.
When Caz stopped laughing enough, she swung a leg and captured Grace between her thighs, allowing her friend to lean back against her, enjoying the sensation of Grace’s shoulders still moving as her giggles began to subside.
“So, I thought about what you said.” Caz offered a segue way into the conversation they needed to have.
“Kissing me?” Grace said it so naturally that it soothed Caz a little. It wasn’t going to be a big deal either way.
“Yeah, and although it wasn’t repulsive—”
Grace elbowed her in the ribs. “I should think not.”
Laughing, Caz continued, “I just mean that…you said you don’t want it to feel clinical this time, and yet, for me, that’s how it would feel. I can’t just kiss someone on demand. I can’t plan it. Kissing someone is something organic.”
Grace turned onto her hip. “I get that. I guess I didn’t really see it from that perspective.” She shrugged a little. “I think maybe I’ve been putting too much pressure on you, and that’snot fair.” She turned again and leaned back how she had been moments earlier. “Maybe I can just do it myself, the fiddly part. And we could just be like this, with you holding me.”
“I can do that,” Caz answered, with a kiss to the top of her head.
“And I’m glad you found someone to talk to. Maybe you should confide the truth to someone closer. It might be what you need.”
Caz slid her arms around Grace. “The only person I tell my secrets to, is you. You’ve always been my rock—my shoulder to lean on. That hasn’t changed. If anything, it makes it more special. I know I can find it difficult to express myself in the moment sometimes, but you always give me the space I need to process it and…nobody else gets that.”
“Well, I am your wife, after all,” Grace joked.
“And I’m glad you are,” Caz said in all seriousness. Because she was. She’d never been surer of anything in her life. There was no way she was going to ruin what they had together.
“I’m going to bed.” Grace yawned.
“Yeah, I think I am too,” Caz said before the inevitable catching yawn found its way to her. “Lead the way.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
January 2025