Balanced on her palm, she knocked gently and didn’t bother to wait for Grace to answer, because there rarely was one.
“Morning, I got you some breakfast,” she said as cheerily as she could manage. Grace didn’t move. “Merry Christmas.”
Caz put the tray down onto the bedside cabinet and walked around the room to the window, drawing the curtains open. “Still snowing,” she said, trying to keep her voice happy and not break down herself.
“Sweetheart?” Caz came around to the side of the bed where Grace was facing and crouched down. “I think it’s time to get up, don’t you?”
Grace mumbled something Caz couldn’t hear. It didn’t matter. Caz made a decision, Grace needed a wake-up call, and a shower. She stood up and left the room, coming back a moment later to find Grace still hiding under the covers.
“Grace, I love you, and I know you’re hurting, but this can’t go on. We’ve still got options.” She waited a second, and when no movement came, she yanked the cover back and slid her arm under Grace, lifting her up before she had any chance to even consider what was happening.
Her eyes wide and angry, hair sticking up, Grace finally spoke. “Put me down.” She looked like a scarecrow.
“I’m not putting you down. I will not allow you to continue this.”
“I just want to be left alone.”
“And I want my best friend to return to the world and spend Christmas with me.” Caz twisted around and carried her out into the hallway, kicking the bathroom door open with her foot. “You need a shower.”
Steam billowed in the small room from where Caz had switched the shower on in preparation.
Grace glared at her. “Put me down.” She punched Caz on the arm. Not hard enough to bruise, but hard enough to make a point. But the point was lost amongst the tears. And out of nowhere, she stopped fighting and clung onto Caz, unwilling to let go.
“It’s time to come back to me,” Caz said, stepping into the shower. The water hit and soaked through her shirt and jeans.
The pair of them just stood there, dripping wet.
And finally, the sobbing quieted, the fingers released their grip, and Caz let Grace’s feet land on the floor, unmoving, as Caz, eyes closed, removed Grace’s pyjamas, turned her around, and washed her. She rubbed shampoo into her hair and took care of her in the only way she knew how, passing her a sponge for those more intimate areas.
Finished, Caz switched the water off and reached for a towel, wrapping Grace in it before she stripped out of her own clothes and found a second towel.
“We have too much to live for, and too many dreams to create,” she said, and then it happened: Grace nodded.
“I’m sorry…”
“For what?”
Her eyes wet as she said, “That I couldn’t look after our baby.”
“That’s not what happened. It was too soon,” Caz said gently. “Most likely you weren’t pregnant.”
“Doesn’t matter. I couldn’t—”
“No,” Caz said, placing a finger against her lips. “There’s no blame, there’s no shame. It didn’t work, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just had a period like every other month, that’s all.”
Grace nodded, her grip tightening on Caz.
“We’re going to get through this, and if you want to try again, we’ll talk about it, but right now…I need you.” Caz wipedthe tears away on her own cheeks, but it didn’t stop them flowing.
“Okay.” Grace reached up and cupped Caz’s cheek. “Okay.”
Chapter Thirteen
June 2025
Getting home, the house felt quiet. They’d only been away three days for the wedding, and yet, it felt like a lifetime since they’d just chilled and vegged out on their own furniture.
“Right, cup of tea? And then I’ll run down to the chippy and get—”