Page 78 of The Last to Know

“I guess not, but equally, I don’t want you feeling pressure to put on a happy face.”

“I read a quote this morning that said, ‘I am not sad, but sadness is on me.’ I’m not putting on a happy face. I’m genuinely happy with my life, with you, with us and the potential of what that means, and spending time with celebrities, drinking wine we could never afford.” She picked up her napkin and wiped her lips. “And at the same time, I have sadness for what isn’t meant to be. But life cannot stop. I have to keep going and find joy in things so this sadness lifts and doesn’t burrow deeper. Does that make sense?”

“Perfect sense.” Caz smiled and reached for her hand.

Chapter Fifty

“What has it been—three, four months?” Alex asked as she handed out glasses—wine for three of them, beer for Caz.

“Something like that,” Caz replied. “Thanks,” she said, taking the glass.

“We’ve often talked about you both, wondering how you were getting on. Really, we should have swapped numbers, or email at least,” Morgan said.

“Yes, it’s not often one meets people who just…click, as they say.” Alex smiled at Grace, who as yet, hadn’t said much more than hello and a thank you.

“We should definitely do that, and you should both come and visit us when you’re our way,” Caz said, keeping the conversation light.

“Near Woodington, wasn’t it?” Morgan asked. She looked well, but tired, and she stifled a yawn. “Sorry, long shift. I’m actually being considered for a job at Woodington Hospital.”

“That would be great,” Grace said, smiling at her. “We live in Banbury Hollow, kind of squeezed in between Woodington and Bath Street, but yes, like Caz said, you should visit. We’d love that.”

“There’s a great development by the river, near the meeting point of Banbury, Bath Street, Woodington, and Amberfield…that’s the posher part.” Caz laughed. “Lots of shopsand restaurants, even a gay pub, and then there’s the gay bar called Art, too, in Bath Street.”

Morgan looked at Alex, pleading in her eyes. “Oh, we have to go. You’ve been promising me a night out for months.”

Alex chuckled. “True. Maybe we will take you both up on that offer.”

“So, how are you both?” Grace asked.

“The papers are bored of me, so that’s been lovely.” Alex smiled. “Of course, now I have nothing much to do, and Morgan is swamped at work…Sod’s law, isn’t it?”

“Well, if I get the job in Woodington, I’ll have more time… A&E is great, but exhausting,” Morgan admitted.

“They will be lost without you,” Alex said, looking at her as though there was nobody else in the room with them.

Grinning, Morgan leaned over and kissed her—nothing too intense in itself, but the look they shared said so much more, and instinctively, Grace shuffled closer to Caz.

“Keep that thought for later,” Alex whispered, but they all heard it. Not that she cared, as she turned to Grace and said, “So, what brings you to the beach in this weather?”

“We…just wanted to get away, and we had such a lovely time here before, it felt perfect,” Grace answered, reaching for Caz’s hand. The other women both caught the move and smiled at it. “Our relationship has maybe taken a turn towards something more…traditional—”

“Yeah, and we figured we’d get away for a bit and explore that somewhere neutral…but equally, somewhere that felt familiar too.”

Morgan’s eyes lit up. “Oh, this is so exciting. I said to Alex I thought you two were super cute together and it was absolutely clear you adored each other.”

“And yet, you both look a little…sad?”

“We’re still figuring it all out,” Caz said, squeezing an arm around Grace and kissing the top of her head.

“I had a miscarriage recently,” Grace said, surprising herself as much as everyone else.

It was Morgan who reacted first. “I’m so sorry, Grace, and you too, Caz. You must be devastated, I’m sure.”

“Yes, that is sad news,” Alex added.

Caz lifted her bottle of beer from the table. “We’re just taking our time with it, you know, it’s all a bit raw.”

Morgan and Alex nodded simultaneously.

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